That's right friends, all is good and well in the world again.
Duck Dynasty is back and I am one happy little lady.
Last night was the season premiere and it did not disappoint. I got a full hour fix of my favorite duck call making, turkey seducing, frog hunting crew and now I, once again, have a purpose for surviving Wednesdays.
And since I was so excited about last night - I took note of the things I have learned from from these bearded men and I am going to share them with you.
Don't all start popping the popcorn at once.
Lawn mowers aren't just for cutting grass.
As it turns out, there is a sporting event for racing lawn mowers. Who knew?
"If you're on a mower, it's to cut grass." -Uncle Si
Personally, I'm with Uncle Si on this one.
Ladies walk into the beauty parlor looking like an old hag and come out looking like Dolly.
Thank the good lord for the beauty parlor. I'm feeling rather haggish today.
Fishing doesn't mean fishing.
Last night I learned that when my future child tells me they're going "fishing" with their man or lady friend, really they're going to do a little hanky panky on a boat.
It's better to catch fish than to catch crabs.
When you do the hanky panky on a boat, you go from happy happy to crabby crabby.
Just call everyone Jack.
I'm terrible with names so I'm thrilled to have made the realization that Uncle Si calls everyone Jack.
I'm picking up this one, indefinitely.
Always have ice and tea.
And maybe a Tupperware cup.
In 'Nom grizzly bears drive scooters.
If a bear can drive a scooter anyone can drive a car.
Or something.
Speed limit signs are just a suggestion.
Will reference this the next time I get pulled over.
Sex only lasts shortly, food is forever.
Ms. Kay and Phil have been married for a very long time. I suppose I need to perfect my cornbread recipe.
Real ninjas have all kinds of different body weights.
I was pretty hammered when I wrote these notes... That's really the only way to explain this one.
I'm off to browse Pinterest for the perfect cornbread recipe.
Babygirl wrote this wine drunk yaaayyy
ReplyI've never seen this and would probably never watch it, but now reading your post I really, really want to! And I now want to be in a lawnmower race really badly.
ReplyI have to jump on this bandwagon, its like Honey Boo Boo! Maybe I can find last years season on Netflix or something to catch up? LOVE IT!
ReplyThis is our favorite show. I have the hotts for Jase. True story lol.
ReplyI love that you wrote about Duck Dynasty. This made my day. Freaking love that show.
ReplyAfter seeing all the comments on twitter, Facebook, and now reading this post I think I may have to watch this show! This seriously cracked me up!!! LOL
ReplyObviously I need to check this show out...
ReplyBahahaha I love your comments! I also love Duck Dynasty when I remember to watch! :) As a gal named Jill, I think I'll start calling everyone Jack, too! :P
ReplySteph is going to love this post. I have YET to watch a single episode of this buzzznass but need to. I just don't get it quite yet haha
ReplyHAHAHA Best list ever??!! I am thinking so!! I missed it because I was at school but I will be watching the re-run today, and setting up my DVR to record it. I love Jase...he cracks me up.
ReplyWeird this was my favorite line of the night too: It's better to catch fish than to catch crabs.
Reply<3 Duck Dynasty made my night!
Making me LOL at my desk!!!
ReplyOk! You failed to mention Si quoting the Humpty Dumpty song! "Stop whatcha doin', 'cause I'm about to ruin the image and the style that ya used to"
ReplyMY WEDNESDAY NIGHTS JUST GOT A WHOLE LOT BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The world would be a much better place if we all looked like Dolly.
ReplyHahahahahaha. This is the best. I love Duck Dynasty.
ReplyLove me some Duck Dynasty. I personally think Si should run for president! :)
ReplyAll I saw on fb and twitter last night was posts about this show...I think I might have to watch it!
ReplyI had SO much fun with the new episodes last night! It was killing me.
ReplyOh, and honey- we got lawn mower racing here in MS. Come on up, I'll show you- my daddy wins around here! ;) Yes, I'm dead serious.
I love that I found this show while very hungover on a Sunday
ReplyThe one on the quaker box is pretty good...found out its what my Mom's been using for years. (sneaky sneaky)....I always feel the speed limit is a suggestion. And the last time I got pulled over I told the officer I was headed to church, which was totally true and he told me to pray about my lead foot, and let me go with a warning.
ReplyI haven't the slightest idea what this show is but I love that you wrote this while you were hammered. You know what I watched last night? The 1/2 Ton Killer on TLC. It was terrifying. I dare you to google it.
ReplyI love you....i just felt like I really needed to tell you this. I'm giggling and realising this is why people from over seas love american, haha
Reply"It's better to catch fish than crabs".....I die!
ReplyOh, I absolutely adore this show! :) Great re-cap!
ReplyFREAKING LOVE THIS SHOW!!
ReplyI LOVE this show!! I'm so sad that I don't have cable...but luckily my parents DVR it, and I puppysit for them quite often. :)
Replyso am I missing out? I have seen the previews for this but I already watch 289529873478923984 other shows and not sure I have time to add one more.
ReplyUnless its totally worth it.
YESSS!!! Haha I love that you wrote a post about them. They're awesome!!
ReplyDuck Dynasty is the best. Here are some things I learned.
ReplyPedestrians need to WATCH OUT!
Keep your hands at 9 and 3 when driving.
It's ok if you don't win as long as you don't come in dead last.
Rednecks always carry chainsaws.
I think I need to start watching this show...stat!
ReplyI've heard about the lawn tractor races. In fact I think it was on my friend, Audrey's blog!
ReplyI've never heard of Duck Dynasty. It's worth checking out! :)
I think you should write all your posts drunk...I know nothing of this Duck Dynasty but I'm intrigued now.
ReplyI am haggy right now too. I need a salon trip ASAP.
ReplyI hope you don't mind being my new BFF. You crack me UP and we are like soul sistas! I LOVE the beards! Strongly agree about the food thing. I think the main reason my man WORSHIPS me is because of my mad cooking skillz.
ReplyI'm at work, have a drink for me mmmkay Jack?!
Gosh, I love this show!
ReplyYou already know I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post 1000000x. It makes me HAPPEH HAPPEH HAPPEH!!! Oh Uncle Si...I just love him!
ReplyTomorrow night. It's ON!