Thursday, November 15, 2012

More shameful than Instagramming a Starbucks cup.

Social media makes the female species do some weird things.
Weird things such as duck lips, strange poses and painfully awkward selfies.

What is it about these social media sites that sends our species in to this vain mentality all so we can have the most stunning default photo? I mean, this stuff is super im-por-tan-te these days.
And before you all get in a tizzy over this, I am fully admitting that I am one of these chicks myself, so uncross your arms and keep the eye rolls to a minimum. It's all going to be ok.

But really, when did we start thinking that smooshing our faces tightly together, while pursing our lips was a cute look?
Exhibit A:
This face screams "I JUST SMELLED SOMETHING REAL FOUL!".
Certainly not a face fit for a default yet after a couple vodka sodies, something inside of me comes out and this is the look I going to give the camera 98% of the time.
Why? Perhaps the bartender put a little too much lime in my drink. Or maybe I just know I will look too drunk to taken attractive photo.
Or maybe, just maybe, I'm in such a messed up state of mind that I think I actually look attractive.


Then, somewhere during this craze of taking and posting photos of every move I make, I picked up the lean.
Not to be confused with the bend and snap.
Exhibit B:
This is not to be taken lightly.
I saw myself in this photo and actually, physically cringed.
What IS THAT lean?
I mean, obviously multiple shots of Fireball Whiskey were consumed prior to the taking of this photo, but since when does Whiskey make me want to prep for a full on backbend while taking a seemingly innocent photo with a friend at a tailgate?

Dear The Lean, We're finished. It's not you, it's me.
Sincerely, Whitney

What happened to the days where we'd take all of these cute photos with our friends like this?
Harmless and no traces of The Lean in sight.


What's with awkward selfies? I mean, I know as far as personal things go, most times I commit the selfie crime it's because I'm just so excited I actually did my make up.
Exhibit C:
I mean, it doesn't get more vain than this. I can SEE my arms clearly taking this photo of me.
And yes, I definitely used this as a default for a hot minute.
I feel ashamed. More so than if I were to go instagram a photo of my red Starbucks cup right now.



However, the hand on the hip? Guilty as charged and it isn't going anywhere.
I mean, if I could rock it in the 80's - in a tutu, none the less, I think It's allowed to stick around.
Plus, I obviously knew what I was doing, trying to slim that baby fat. You know.



From my research in this particular department I have found that the new ducklips is the over-the-shoulder-look. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten drunk enough to participate in this one so I have no photo evidence of myself committing the crime.

___

On a less shameful note (or very shameful since this is a total plug), the infamous PLL invited me to blog for her today and I think you should go check it out.

49 comments:

  1. So, every picture I take is horrible and shameful. That's fine. I'd go delete them all but I've already deleted all my fat pics. So, I have to stick with what I've got. I digress. Love you friend and I love all your pictures. Even the kissy face...

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  2. Ohhh girl hand on the hip is the way TO GO! It's always there, always! Ps. You haz pretty shoes and I want them.

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  3. LMFAO, this is so sad but true! GAh. I'm loving the tutu though, hot stuff. And you look amazzzzing in that dress!

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  4. hahahahaha that is awesome. umm i put up some hideous pics of myself today. about 10. from highschool. dear lord help me. i was ugly as deer shit.

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  5. haha so true. hayden panitierre (sp???) was on chelsea lately the other night & talked about fireball whiskey. hearing about it twice in a week is a sign I need some in my life.

    also, i love that dress in your "hand on hip" pic. not the tutu, the other one.

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  6. My hand is on my hip pretty much any time that I'm not taking a picture in a dirty bathroom mirror. LOl!

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  7. How about the Sorority Squat? Front row bends down a bit and you can tell which girls have been working on their fitness too much because their smiles turn to semi-cringes when their quads start shaking.

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  8. HAHAHAHA! So true!! :) I've definitely been guilty of the duck face and the self photo, but I don't think I've ever done the lean! And you're totally right... the arm on the hip isn't going ANYWHERE!

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  9. I do all of these and I am so not ashamed! The lean makes me feel skinny, and hand on the hip is my go-to. I also instagrammed pictures of starbucks cups last weeks. Oops. :) :)

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  10. How true is this? Love your pics :)

    Head on over to my blog www.shaunawyrick.com for a contest this week!

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  11. The lean has taken over! Ya know, gravity can be a real bitch.

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  12. Oh my god, the bend & snap. Works every time!

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  13. very funny stuff! the hand on the hip pose is classic so I don't think that one will be made fun of in the future. plus those shoes are super adorable!

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  14. Hahaha I'm guilty of the hand on hip, and occasional scruncy/duck lip face but I stay away from the lean...so far.

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  15. Had on my hip is my go to! And I think the lean suits you well ;) Maybe you were trying to balance yourself from falling over??? haha :)

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  16. love the "bend and snap" and fireball too. :)

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  17. Oh, THE LEAN. This is definitely something that usually happens after a few drinks...

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  18. Haha this made me laugh! So guilty of the arm thing ( I think I picked that up in college and it's just our go to pose I guess!?) You're the cutest!

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  19. I have taken so many horrific pictures of myself for my blog! And some shameless self portraits in a mirror...those have got to go. Hopefully:) P.S. You look cute in the lean!

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  20. hand on hip ... check. 95% of my pictures is the hand on the hip pose which obviously is the skinny arm. nothing wrong with the skinny arm, haha.

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  21. This made me giggle! I soooo do the hand on the hip thing too - always have, always will. It's a must!

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  22. Aaaaand this is why there are rarely pictures on my blog these days lol.

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  23. You have managed to do it again... make me almost piss myself in hysteria! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I am guilty of every.single.one. of those!

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  24. Kissing pictures are my other most hated photo or blowing kisses.....ugh.

    Duck lips.....I have no words.

    You are hilarious as always!

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  25. I am so guilty of selfies on a daily basis. I just don't share them because they turn out so terrible! Haha. What have we become?

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  26. guilty of all three... especially the lean. It's gotten so bad in pictures with John, he sometimes asks me if he smelled or if I was trying to get away. shameful.

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  27. Your selfies are not awkward!! The duck face selfies are the awkward ones.

    I'm guilty of hand on the hip. It's my pose in like every picture.. I swear if I don't do it I feel like my arm gets 100 times fatter.

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  28. Hand on the hip is my go to. I blame my sorority days for it, the lean, anddd the squat! It's ridic but we know how to skinny up a pic real fast like!!

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  29. I checked it out! Girrrl this post cracked me up! I think your pic poses are adorable. I stand like a guy in almost all pics and I don't know how to make it stop haha :/

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  30. I found your blog through PLL, and I love it! Not only do I love the title of your blog, the social media post is spot on. I love that you called out the ridiculous stuff we put on the internet! The funniest things are what's true.
    -New Follower, Melanie
    www.readaboutmymoments.blogspot.com

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  31. I guess I got pretty fortunate that all I have done is the hand on the hip :D But I am oh so guilty of the front lean, you know when you bend forward and get a full cleavage shot and your head looks too big for your body. Whoops! Haha :D

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  32. I myself have been guilty of the "Lean". Ahh, good times.

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  33. Found you via Luckymag and your blog is hilarious! Seriously in love with your puppies. I have an adorable Maltese who is all over my blog as well! Now following via GFC.

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  34. So true! My goodness, I am so guilty of all of these things. It's just funny that you never realize it until someone points it out.

    - M

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  35. just stumbled upon you--new reader :) hilarious post! i can't stand the duck face selfies, ahh!! you wouldn't happen to be an alumni knight, would you..??

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  36. The lean!! Unfortunately guilty of this as well.

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  37. Just found you through your guest post on Pink Lou Lou - love your sense of humor, you're the cutest! :)

    Now following via GFC!

    XO
    Erin

    sweetnessitself.blogspot.com

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  38. Serious. When I drink...the duck face comes out. I think every single picture from 2008 is a duck face. EVERY.SINGLE.ONE. Shammmme.

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  39. You are hilarious and spoke the truth! I love it! Cute post!

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  40. Love the title of this post and I don't know when "the lean" became a thing, but I definitely do it too! I also always tilt my head to the side, kind of like a confused dog... oops!

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  41. Loved the term "full on backbend" hahah :P I will only make fun of your for awkward selfies the day I learn you have one of those "extendable arm" things that you hold way out to take your own picture (imagine "Granny's grabber," for getting things off high shelves). Until then...NBD ;) My mom says I've had my hand on my hip since I was a child...and actually has pictures to prove it.

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  42. This is sooo true. I def think some people do because of vanity for sure. I just happened to be drunk a lot.

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  43. Everyone takes selfies. And those who say they don't are liars.. they just might not publish their selfies. And the hand on the hip is okay, in my opinion, or else your arm just dangles there. All long (or short), awkward, and..dangly? Idk.

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  44. Sadly, I cannot pull off the duck lips. The arms outstretched, though? Yeah, I can do that.

    Lisette

    P.S. You know I <3 you, right? No? Ok. I <3 you. That is all. The end.

    Lisette

    http://northernbellediaries.blogspot.com

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  45. This just cracked me up! I do the hand-on-the-hip thing too but we call it "the skinny arm." You know, get the arm as far away from the body as possible so there's no chance of it smushing up against you and looking too fat. Probably the vainest name imaginable for "put your hand on your hip."

    Also, the boyfriend loves to watch Tosh.0. He had it on last night and I happened to catch this segment, which fits this post perfectly! http://tosh.comedycentral.com/video-clips/instagram--bros-pose-as-hoes-photos

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  46. I just found your blog via PLL. You are absolutely hysterical!!!! Loooooooove this post. Totally guilty of these poses as well :) you're too cute!

    XOXO
    Ashley
    ashleyspassionforfashion.blogspot.com

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  47. This totally cracked me up! And its great to be able to laugh at yourself. i'm glad I found your blog. :)

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