Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Whitney's What the? Wednesday : GRAMMYs Edition

Hey there, sweet thangs. It's humpalump day, I've successfully taken down my iced coffee, and I'm ready to get my GRAMMYs chat on. I've been brewing on this post since Sunday and so if it's a little over the top, that's probably why. Sorry, I just really love the GRAMMYs.



The GRAMMYs opened with quite possibly one of the worst performances I've seen at an event since Ashlee Simpson got busted for lip syncing on SNL. T. Swizzle sang her played out popular hit We're Never (ever) Getting Back Together and it was really, really horrible. Really. There was a bunny, some other characters I've chosen to block out of my mind, and some interesting costumes. Or something like that.

The entire time I couldn't help but to wish for the old, sobby Swifty with a banjo to grace the stage.
Also, her british accent tribute to most recent ex, Harry Styles, had me embarrassed for her.
Stick with the red carpet look, Swizzy. Mouth shut, pretty dress, mysterious look. That's your spot.


Adele still exists, if you were unaware. She showed up to the GRAMMYs this year wearing something that resembles a sofa my grandma had in the 70's and, as always, she gave zero shits to what anyone thought of it. 

Not only have we not heard from her in a solid year, she somehow managed to actually take home yet another GRAMMY this year. She seemed as shocked as I was.
Adele also threw major shade at Chris 'douche lord' Brown after Frank Ocean beat him out for the category they were in competition for. This performance alone was worth the GRAMMY she won, in my opinion.
Keep doing what you do, girl. If I could take a year off and still win a GRAMMY, you bet your ass I would.
You go, Adele Coco.


Wiz Khalifa took the stage with some man named Miguel, who I've never heard of, and the duo looked like one of those optical illusion posters that was cool in the 90's. The performance was nothing worth remembering but I must say, Wiz (ard of Oz) was looking awfully blogger chic in his chevron suit.
All he's missing is a bubble necklace and a sock bun.

See also: I guess the "no boobs" memo that was sent to the celebs in GRAMMYs attendance didn't apply to moobs.


My teenage heart throbbed all over the place when a very dapper looking Justin Biel Timberlake graced the stage in a very appropriately chosen suit and bowtie. If I told you I wasn't expecting JC, fancy Lancey, Joey, and Chris to drop from the ceiling via puppet strings, I'd be lying.
I really thought this was going to be the Nsync reunion to outshine last week's Destiny's Child reunion... 
it was not.
Justin's lucky he still makes me weak in the knees.
Jay Z is not quite the boy band cameo I was praying for.
Side bar... JT has CeeLo Green hands a little bit, no?


Last, but certainly not least, I want to talk about Kelly Clarkson who had to have been drunk off her ass this year. Trust me, I know drunk and homegirl was on the road to slop-a-potamus. My guess is that she took full advantage of the top shelf open bar like a champ. Can't hate on her for that, I do the same thing at weddings.
I loved it, obviously. I had no idea she had it in her.
Next time, Kelly, select your outfits before you start boozing though. Trust me, this rule is Day Drinking 101.
Also, her drunk singing is still amazing and for that I feel a little jealous.



Oh, and this happened too... but I can't really talk about it because I blacked out from the sexy.
I'm talking about that man-dime on the left, not the right, just so we're being clear.

54 comments:

  1. JT DOES HAVE CEELO GREEN HANDS. wtf. I think I passed out from all of the man candy.. JT, Adam, AND Wiz. ded.

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  2. I did not watch the grammy's (don't know why) but I love this recap. and now i feel like I got a good slice of it. t-swift and bunnies hurts my stomach. and basically JT can do no wrong in my eyes. except if he wants to get back together with lil miss Brit, that would be fine.

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  3. JT & Adam. Damn there is too much sexy in this post. I can't concentrate enough to actually write a comment.

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  4. Bahahaha, "you go adele coco", that's some good stuff. I agree, I miss the old Taylor, a lot.

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  5. I didn't watch the Grammy's - but thanks for filling me in on all the goods. :)

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  6. Love the Adele Coco. The woman has some skills to disappear for a year and still get an award.

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  7. Kelly's outfit reminds me of a top that I had circa 2002 from express. Bad.

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  8. THE TINY HANDS. Why did you have to point this out to me?! All of my childhood dreams, straight down the pot.

    In my mind, whether it's true or not, Adam's hands are huge, and thus... big gloves. Yum.

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  9. i'm almost embarrassed how much i love HOV. like want to throw up the HOV symbol at all times and just shut shit down. i'm also pretty sure that all vaginas/hearts fluttered when j.timberlake rocked the house. i'm not mad at any of that.

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  10. Yeah that whole Taylor Swift performance was just awkward awkward awkward. Justin Timberlake was awesome--- and how amazing would it have been if he and Adam Levine performed together? Be still my heart- I'd probably still be passed out from the sexy.

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  11. I will never be able to unsee Justin's small hands now. T Swift actually paid grown people to dress up like bunnies & dance around her. Jesus Lord someone help that child.

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  12. I never watch this stuff, but I sure love reading about it. I'm glad I'm not the only one that isn't a huge Taylor fan.

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  13. Taylor Swift needs to take a year off from Adele...she's getting way too annoying for everyone!

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  14. I missed the chevron suit. Adore it! and Tay Sweezy is making it harder and harder to love her...

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  15. Good ole Wiz(ard of Oz) was my favorite part. He basically "rapped" for 3.98 seconds and giggled like school girl for the rest of it.

    So great.

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  16. I think you might be my sarcasm twin...because this post was beautiful. Seriously. I could not have said it better!

    ♥Tiffany
    lifeofalostmuse.com

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  17. AHAHAHA, I love this post!

    I agree about the whole T. Swizzle situation. She did HORRIBLE! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought so, I was cringing it was so bad! What does the circus and bunnies have to do with that song, awful!

    Justin Timberlake's performance was my favorite, he always get it's right and can we say…CLASSY!

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  18. Tayyyylor..... please stop. Adele you rock that Vera Bradley dress. and my next birthday party I'm planning on sending Kelly Clarkson an invite. The girl can party.

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  19. I couldn't bring myself to watch the Grammy's this year, but I did catch Kelly's amazing acceptance speech. That should be her new job - she should just accept awards on people's behalf and we'd be done with boring acceptance speeches forever.

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  20. Dude, I agree with EVERY BIT OF THIS. It was pretty much a huge cluster, but I loved every second of it. I somehow missed the Kelly Clarkson part though, so I better go YouTube that shit asap so I can be filled in on this. Lub you, Whittttty!

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  21. Taylor Swift had to be on drugs to think that performance was okay. YIKKES

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  22. I LOVED Justin too...can't wait to get my hands on that new album! And I totally about Taylor Swift too...I mean WTH?

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  23. I missed the Grammys... boo.
    But to be fair I was driving home from Mardi Gras... where I saw Kelly Clarkson... in all her oozing glory.
    Thank you so much for the BEST REVIEW EVER.

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  24. Good thing you saved the best for last, otherwise I would have blacked out for the rest of this post.

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  25. The Taylor Swift performance drove me to drinking.. I need Adele to smack the shit out of her and teach homegirl how it is really done.

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  26. I will have to say it, Adam Levine trumped JT in the sexy book this year, the suit and tie song just does not do it for me, back to the drawing board JT, although he can just stand there is a suit..or anything and I am totally ok with that. Minus T-Swift and that horrible Forrest Gump song I thought the show was pretty good

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  27. LOVE your grammy recap LOL to funny! agree with everything, but I must say if your a fan of frankie ocean, or john legend, or R&B in general your going to want to hear Miguel's album

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    Replies
    1. The song he sang on the gammys with wiz is called adore its pretty good song,and do you.. But the whole albums epic!

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  28. Fug Girls mentioned how when it was just T Swift with her guitar, people pointed out how her voice wasn't perfect and now that she's "performing" they aren't noticing any more, so it's working for her in that aspect.
    What shade did Adele throw? I didn't watch, but I love her no matter what.

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  29. Bubble necklace and sock bun. I die. I had a friend who went to the Grammys...she said it was super fun...but she spent a shitload of money!

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  30. An NSync reunion would have been INCREDIBLE!! They totally should have done that. Adam Levine really is super hot!

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  31. What about my best friend, Carrie Underwood? She looked HOT on the red carpet, but I deducted about 100 points with the 90s inspired screensaver dress she wore during her performance. Oh Carrie!

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  32. Miguel is such an amazing artist I can't believe you've never heard of him...

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  33. Adam Levine is Wonderful! I have a new found love for him! :)

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  34. Awww. I thought Kelly was adorbs and just way too ecstatic about the award. Not drunk. Not Kelly! :)

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  35. legit laughing out loud to this post. you're hilarious!

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  36. BAhahahahah! I have to agree with Adele. What the F was up with girlfriend's frock?!!?
    And some of the back up dancers for Taylor Swift made me a wee bit scared. Anyways, always good for a laugh. Thanks Whit :)

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  37. Damnit. I missed Tay Tay's opening performance and NOW you've gone and shared that bunny picture...youtube here I come!

    Also, you're hilarous ;)

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  38. My favorite line from this post: you go Adele Coco! Made me laugh out loud. JT: Love him. If only I weren't married!

    Sheree
    The Hartungs Blog
    thehartungs.blogspot.ca

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  39. Ha! Best grammy recap I've seen. I love Adele but I do NOT love that dress. It'd make a better couch for a 1960s psychedelic housewife.

    Also, I too wear yoga pants to work. In fact, I'm still in them now. Love the blog.

    Stephanie

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  40. This made me lol'd more than once. Thank you for the man-dime-piece comment, I needed that. Tats on that man... Sexy-rexy
    ahhhhhh
    xoxo- Kaara
    http://inthekitchwithkaara.blogspot.com

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  41. Now that made me laugh a TON oh thank you for the Grammy recap. I haven't watched it in a while but now I might look for bits of it especially to see Adam and JT's performance.

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  42. HAHAH you go, Whit!!

    XO Jenna @ Demure in Diamonds

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  43. OMG. You may have just ruined my life by pointing out that JT has Ceelo hands. *sobs*

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  44. I love love love Justin Timberlake!!!

    www.trendinginfashion.blogspot.com

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  45. So I must confess that I did not watch the Grammy's but just from the pictures in your post, I think Taylor Swift's set concept must have been put together during/directly after an acid trip, no?

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  46. I didn't watch the grammy's either. They are so long!! Thanks for the re cap. I've pieced it all together from reading blogs.

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  47. Oh my gosh this is the funniest post I think I've ever read! Hated Adele's dress as well and those equally heinous matching shoes...

    Marissa
    http://www.makeuphoarder.com/

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  48. Love Adele...a real woman with the best voice

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  49. I didin't watch, but I think Kelly needs to hire a stylist. Great voice, style choices, not so much!
    Karen Kane Giveaway!
    http://coffeebeansandbobbypins.blogspot.com/

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  50. When Taylor Swift started singing my husband and I just looked at each other in confusion. That was one rough performance, sheesh. And I love Adele too -- especially how she joked about getting knocked up after she won her Grammys last year. She's just so real it makes it easy to love her!
    grey et al

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  51. Check out my Grammys run down at someblondesthoughts.blogspot.com

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