I yelled at a man mowing grass before 8am this morning, so if I'm slightly feisty today blame it on the man who interrupted my dog while she was trying to do her morning biznass.
For those of you who guessed that I hate scary movies yesterday, you're right. I prefer to pee pee in the potty, not in my pants. Thank you. As for the other two... well, find me in an old bar in Tallahassee and there's a good chance I'm at the jukebox searching for Journey or Eddie Money songs to drunkenly belt out. And my blankie... well, I don't really have anything to say for myself. I wrap it around my neck when I sleep and use it as a pillow. Call me weird, it's cool.
Alright, let's dish some celeb goods now.
It's been quite a month for our resident pretty boy, Biebz. Turns out a bunch of crazy dudes have been plotting to castrate and murder sweet little Beauty and a Beat. Don't worry Max, the psycho castrators were recently captured and taken to jail... complete with the creepy scarf they've been carrying around to use on our pop prince's man jibblets.
Hang in there, big guy. Whatever man jibblets Selena left you with are going to be safe and sound.
Be sure to send Canadian border patrol a nice fruit basket for that one.
Next let's have a quick chat about Eve. If you have no idea who Eve is, don't worry - I forgot she existed too. She's the one with the paw prints on her knockers. I think she used to rap but that's up in the air, I didn't really feel like putting the energy in to Googling what she used to do before she fell off the Earth. Especially since she's been bad mouthing my Queen of Pop, Brit Brit. She was recently quoted saying that B.Spizzle's part in Will.i.am's new song, Scream and Shout, isn't actually B.Spizzle singing.
My guess is, if you put it in blogging terms, her pageviews are low and she's stirring shit up to get them back up.
Meanwhile, Brit Brit is packing her bags for Vegas and is all, "It's really Britney, Bitch.".
Apparently there was a crasher at the Grammy's who pulled off the crash of the century. His name is something I've yet to learn but for the purpose of this post we'll call him Vitamin Sudoku, because that's what I read when I saw his name. This guy managed to make his way in the Grammy's, sat in Adam Levine's seat, and even presented a Grammy to J.Lo on stage, all without obtaining any credentials to the event at all. Homie has skills.
There's old Vitamin Sudoku on the far left. J.Lo's leg is just as confused as everyone else is as to who he is. And maybe also a little bit confused as to what the eff Adele is actually wearing.
Unfortunately for event crashers everywhere who were inspired by this little stunt, Vitamin has been arrested for trespassing and has to go to court. Nice try though.
It's no secret around here that I am a loyal fan to my girl, Miley Cyrus. Whether she's just being Miley, or that British kid from Harry Potter, I stand behind her - holding her beautiful, long weave, slightly missing Hannah Montana. Just a little. If you follow her at all, even just a little, you may have caught on that homegirl has a new puppy every other week. Seriously, she must own a farm of dogs. Well, she posted this little nonchalant of her, her sweet little puppy, a keyboard small enough for the puppy to play, oh and some herbs that appear to have recently been grinded up.
Alright then... That's one hell of a photobomb, Mary Jane.
Lastly, a pregnancy announcement. It looks like Feralicious will be joining the pregnant mafia with Kate, Kimmy and J.Simps. If I wasn't already painfully jealous that she gets to lay on top of
Josh Duhamel Tad Hamilton whenever she pleases, I'm super jealous now. Sigh.
And another one bites the dust.
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Pretty please with unicorn fairy dust on top??