About 3 months ago I realized that my big “life plan” was about to take a huge turn. I wasn’t really sure how I was going to go about getting through it, or where I was going to live, or even where my next meal was going to come from. All I knew was that life as I knew it was about to change forever. And, damn, did it ever.
Walking away from someone you moved 2,000 miles to be with is, well, pretty insane. This I know. It sounds equally as crazy as it felt, but I knew I had to make the change. I knew I needed to walk away and find my own happiness, no matter what struggles would come as a consequence to my actions. Looking back now, I’d do it all over again. Struggles and all, I know now that every hardship and obstacle I fought through over the last 3 months was worth so much more than I can even describe.
Except for I’m a writer, or at least a very amateur version of one, and so I’m going to give describing this all a shot.
Having no home to call your own when you live across the country from the people who have supported you for 27 years is probably one of the most humbling situations I’ve ever endured. What’s possibly even more humbling is being taken in by people who had known me for such a short period of time. I was given a room to live in rent-free until I could afford to get my own place, I was given a basement to store all of my belongings in without being asked for anything in return, I was offered help from so many generous and kind-hearted people who refused to let me fail. Never in my life have I felt so fortunate and wealthy; I had so much when, on paper, I had absolutely nothing at all.
With all of that going on, I think it’s pretty clear I was in no way, shape, or form, expecting what fell in my lap during it all. I met someone who would forever change my life and my every belief of love in this world.
Thanksgiving was my first holiday I’d spend family-less in Denver, or so I thought. I was invited to a “friendsgiving” type of gathering with my Denver family on Thanksgiving night, being that I wasn’t about to turn down a great time with my new friends I jumped at the invitation. I should also add that the night prior to the gathering I was given one thing to bring, a pumpkin pie. In my not-so-sober state I decided I was going to bake one… From scratch… And then I passed out on the couch and said pumpkin pie from scratch never happened. How I’ve managed to maintain my friends here still blows my mind.
I’m getting off topic. See what happens when I don’t write for eleventy years?
I remember sipping on a glass of delicious and rare almond champagne when I overheard someone say that Sparky was on his way over, my eyes lit up brighter than the 2 christmas trees that were surrounding me. I had met Sparky a few times before, had a few conversations with him, but I wasn’t ever in a position to take it any further. Well, until I heard his name mentioned and it occurred to me that I was officially single, I didn’t really have the energy at that point to consider my “relationship status” prior to that night… Thanksgiving 2014 was the day it also occurred to Sparky that I was single and by the end of the night he asked me if he could take me on a date. It was all kind of a blur, I wasn’t at all sure if I was ready but something inside of me was screaming at me to pursue him, so I did. I agreed to go on a first date with the guy I’d silently had an eye on since the day I met him and it was the best choice I’ve ever made.
November 30th 2014 will forever be one of the best days of my life; our first date, which lasted around 10 hours. I was nervous beyond belief, I had absolutely no idea what to do with myself, I’m fairly certain I botched the majority of the words that came out of my mouth, there were a few points where I had to remind myself to inhale and exhale to avoid passing out, and I think at one point I (soberly) tripped over thin air. I was twitterpated and giddy, I was shaky and jumpy, I was excited and nervous, most of all I was completely swept off of my feet by the most well spoken, handsome, and intriguing man I’ve ever had the pleasure of sharing a meal with.
To say I was, and very much am, taken by Sparky would be a vast understatement. Never in my life have I felt such powerful emotions for someone and so soon at that. Yes, yes, I’m aware it all happened quickly… I now understand the whole “when you know, you know” cliche. I also know exactly why I ended up in Denver. I know why I hopped those giant obstacles and took that massive risk. Through all of the failed relationships and all of the pain, I am here now in Denver, I am back standing on my own two feet (well aside from being swept off of them on a daily basis), and I am lucky in love with the most wonderful person I have ever laid eyes on.