The name of the game is brought to you by Kim K's baby daddio, Kanyeezus, and Mr. Sasha Fierce.
Everyone is excited for Fall.
I live in Florida. Fall means nothing more than Halloween and Thanksgiving around these parts, and if you weren't around here last year, just know I have a Thanksgiving curse and so the holiday doesn't do anything for me.
That shit cray.
That red headed bitch in the Wendy's commercials.
I'd like to give her eleventy billion paper cuts and then trip her in public. She's bossy and I just really don't like her. Get off your high horse, woman. Your burgers will never trump my beloved double cheeseburgers, ya heard?
That shit cray.
People writing vague novels on their Facebook status.
Cut. It. OUT. I need this madness to stop and for these novel writers to start a blog or, better yet, make a friend. Facebook is not the place to word vomit, capeesh? Capeesh.
That shit cray.
Snitching Snapchat.
Why does Snapchat have to tell the whole world who your top Snap buds are? I smell a lot relationship failures stemming from this little feature. Yo Snapchat, that shit's gotta go and also...
That shit cray.
Prude iPhone.
I swear, if my iPhone tries to change a certain explicative I enjoy saying to "duck" one more time, I'm going to throw it against a wall. Stop trying to make "what the duck" happen, iPhone. It isn't going to happen. Get with my potty mouth already.
That shit cray.
Loud mofo on the phone right now.
I'm trying to write a damn blog post and this hooker in the office next to me sounds like she's talking to someone with a hearing impairment. Can. Not. Think. Yo hooker, shut your pie hole!
That shit cray.
This post is starting to feel really stupid so I'm going to end it here.
Come back tomorrow and lets #backthatazzup, k? Because that shit is not cray. It's fun. For everyone. Lord, what the duck is wrong with me?
Adios amigos.
But what if someone is really asking if you want to come over and duck?
ReplyYa know, like duck duck goose...
I HATE when my Iphone changes words... you press send thinking all is right in the world and bam reread the text and words haved been fucked all up...
ReplyYou mean ducked all up :p
Ugh the girl in the Wendy's commercial. So annoying. She needs to shut the duck up.
Replyiphone autocorrect can suck my left nut...that i don't have.
ReplyNovels on Facebook mean you get defriended fast. Also, autocorrect is the dumbest thing in the world. It changes things to duck when I clearly spelled it right, but it can't fix my actual spelling errors.
ReplyDuck is the worst when you're really mad. And I seriously wish summer would stay forever.
ReplyI love your blog, Whitney! So hilarious. I'd also like to add people that take pictures of their bloody finger and/or toe and post it on their Facebook. No one wants to see that/that shit cray. Experienced it this morning.
ReplyI hear ya on fall not existing in Florida... at least not until everyone else is enduring winter (no thanks!)
ReplyI moved here 3 years ago from Connecticut and I do NOT miss the cold weather at all. I also remember not being super excited about fall after summer because after fall comes winter.. YUCK. Everyone needs to just enjoy summer and stop trying to rush fall. Even if you don't live in FL or TX it's hot as ballz out right now. Why are you wanting to buy sweaters and scarves? Just thinking about it makes me sweat :(
What the duck, now I have that song stuck in my head all day now. Thanks for that.
ReplyOmg, yes! I can't stand that Wendy's girl! Every time she comes on my TV, I change the channel.
ReplyYES the wendy's girl... like shut up rude.
ReplyThat damn ginger. She gives every single one of them a bad rep. I know SO many prettier and cooler gingers. I hate Wendy's just because of her. But I still like my baked potatoes and small chili's that look like an entire cow and rotten garden were thrown in a blender and the poured into my bowl. I will leave now.
ReplyThe Wendy's girl is super annoying! I never understood the facebook paragraph updates...then they get upset when people ask whats wrong and are like oh its nothing. riiiiiiight
ReplySiri is a ducking piece of shot, and that's basically all there is to it.
Replyvague fb status people should get ONE warning then you're done. Off all social media you go!! Then someone ask what's wrong and they respond with I will text you. hahah WHAT???!!
ReplyOMG LOOOOOVE this post! I totally get the iPhone thing. It ducking drives me crazy. Or cray. www.styleoyster.blogspot.com
Replyyou would think that my original iphone4 would have caught on to the fact that i am a pervert, have the humor of a 12 year old boy, and curse like a sailor by now!
ReplyYou and Erin really do think alike, I swear I've read this post ;)
ReplyI love the pure annoyance with the hooker next door. That is a word I will DEFINITELY be adding to my vocabulary list of things to call people that piss.me.the.fuck (duck if you're an iphone) off.
ReplyYou rock.
oh holy hell. that wendys bitch has got. to. go.
Replyi loathe every one of those commercials.
also on the commercial hate list: the haagen dazs stracciatella ad. some of those people got some jacked up teeth. get out of my space with your jumbo sized mouth, please and thank you.
Wendys girl = annoying bitch. Take that annoying shit someplace else girl.
ReplyVague Facebook novels. Amen.
ReplyI just went through and checked all my friends' snapchat besties and my friends are freaks and little brother is a man whore. Way to go snapchat.
ReplyYeah I definitely wrote a post yesterday about how "Facebook Is No Longer Cool" and I really enjoyed every bit of it. Your reason above is one of the things I hate most about it. Facebook is the new Myspace. Blogging is cooler than Facebook....haha! No but it really is. We actually get to say whatever the F we want to and don't have to force feed it to people. Yeah, it would help getting a real "Friend" in the end too...it will make life a tad easier.
ReplyI told someone last week that I am enjoying watching the demise of Facebook. Muwahahahahahaha!!
Ginny
www.buttergirldiaries.com
Hahahahahahahaha "or better yet make a friend"
Replyhahahahahaha
Oh no, the iphone's word changing! It's says my sister noor's name as boot. Excuse me?
ReplyHaha- I tell everyone I know how to look at 'top friends' on Snapchat... Ooooh, Kayla and I have found some dirt! That's for sure!
ReplyI purposely ignore the facebook novel attention seekers. I know it's gotta make them mad when no one asks "what's wrong". No one cares!!!
Reply"I'm thinking Wendy's!" Boom. Sucker punch to the back of the head.
ReplyThat hooker works in my office too.
ReplyI can't remember how I did it, but I know there is somewhere you can go in the iPhone to add your curse words to your dictionary, and then you will no longer have to deal with ducks when you really mean something totally different. You should look into that. :-)
ReplyGet that annoying Wendy's b*@$# out of here. I'll pay you in boxed wine.
ReplyI wish that red-headed bitch would get the duck off my screen! OK, maybe that was too much... she really does annoy me though!
ReplyOh and the loud mofo works at my office too.
Ahh seriously with the Facebook shit! It's not just one post either, it's a dozen pleas for attention a day. From the same doucher.
Replyyou need to watch your mouth about wendy's.
Replyyou can trash that little skank all you want but if i catch wind of you shit-talking that spicy chicken sandwich i will shank you.
Hahaha, I love the Snapchat one.
ReplySo how do I find out this snapchat top buds thing!?
ReplyThings I don't understand: why there are scores on snapchat. What are we working towards?
ReplyMy auto correct changes to ducking all the time and it drives me insane!! I'm not mad about the ducking dishes that you left in the sink.
ReplyOh and that Wendy's girl.. she's gotta go.
And ps: since I'm moving to GA, does that mean no more fall for me either? I do love it... and I think I'm in denial that it will actually get cool...
ReplyThe dreaded iPhone duck is the worst!!!! SHIT IS DEFINITELY CRAY!
ReplyTOUCHE
ReplyExcept on numero 1. It is hot as balls here and you-mid. To the point that my thighs need powder.
Replyyes to the FB status.... if you're gonna be vague don't post it!
ReplyNothing worse than going on a text rant only to get a response back pointing out the fact that you said "ducking". Thanks ass, you missed the whole point of my message. Been there a time or two....
ReplySettings > General > Keyboard > Add new shortcut > make the phrase "fuck" & the shortcut "fuc". Duck problem fixed :) x
ReplyThe facebook novel is so annoying. Especially if it is a long Bible passage or book quote!
Replyxx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes
I get "ducking" all the time - it's so frustrating. I also get misspelled words in place of words I'm actually spelling right.
ReplyI feel ya on the novel facebook posts.. ugh!
ReplyKayla
www.lovelucygirl.com
I can't believe how many times I've said "ducking" this week.. "Geez, it's that ducking Wendy's hobag again!!!"
ReplyWhenever I try to type "dick" on my iPhone, it corrects it to "dock." NOT A FAN IPHONE, NOT A FAN AT ALL.
ReplyMy phone doesn't autocorrect the F bomb for me .... I think I curse so much Siri knows I don't mean duck!!! haha
Replyi never quite understand why people call the winter time the best time of year. bitch please, the summertime is the best time of year. it's warm, the pool is open and the sun is shining..what more could you want? oh and i hate snow. fuck snow.
Replythe snapchat thing....YES hahahahah so cray
Replysend me snap chats!!!!
Haha im so glad you addressed the annoying Wendys chick! Lol
ReplyAlisha @ The Alisha Nicole
I suggest a weekly "that shit cray" post. Love it! :)
Reply