Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Being Vulnerable {+ Giveaway Winner}

Good morning, lovers! Today is going to be one of those days where I break it down and get a little bare. Why? Because we all know how I feel about fluff blogs and I believe it's a good thing to expose a little bit to break the shell. I'd rather have 5 readers who really understand me than 2,000 who think they know me. 

A little while ago I followed a little posting trend called "if you really knew me", today I'm going to take that post to a newer, more vulnerable level and share things that even those that really do know me probably don't know. Basically, here are some things that even those closest to me most likely don't even know...


In high school all of the boys picked on me and called me "Peep". Yes, Peep, like the Easter candy...


Because I was always so pale and wore pink all of the time. I hated it and used to let it get to me a lot. I was really insecure at the time and being compared to a pink sugar covered marshmallow didn't help. 

Speaking of insecurities, I'm still incredibly insecure. 


I am constantly worried that I am failing, not doing something right, looking horrible, messing something up. You name it, I'm worried about it. There are times where I take being a perfectionist to an extreme and it consumes me. I want to be that laid back and relaxed person 24/7 but sometimes the insecure part of me takes over and brings me down.

It's something I work on every single day.


Another thing? I'm really clumsy and uncoordinated, which is slightly ridiculous considering I spent the first 20 years of my life dancing at least 4 times a week. 


That graceful, little gazelle? Yeah, just yesterday she nearly busted her face from falling up the stairs. And that's nothing. My friends do see this side of me but nothing to the extent that it really is. I am constantly tripping over my own feet. I seem to find every single uneven sidewalk to trip over. I stumble over air. It's just ridiculous and I'm afraid it's getting worse with age.


Fitting in. I hate cliques and it's because I don't think I've ever been apart of one. I was a complete nerd for the majority of my life (who am I kidding? I'm still a nerd). All through grade school I was never "cool" or "popular". I had my small group of friends at school and then my dance friends, that was it. I was never best at anything in the yearbook, I never won any kind of homecoming or prom queen titles... never even got close to those. I was the farthest from fitting in.

This, sort of, brings me to today in the blogging world. There are so many cliques in this world and it honestly scares me. Fitting in this world isn't easy. There are so many things people openly judge on that I see on a daily basis. Whether it's a new trend that some bigger blogger doesn't like or the way a certain type of blogger chooses to take their photos. Guess what?! Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it's ok to get your entire clique to bash it. Chances are, you are hurting someone's feelings. 

I don't know, maybe it's a sensitive subject for me because I've been at the shit end of bullying plenty of times in my life, but I feel like those people who are constantly putting people down for liking something or whatever it may be, generalized or not, it's just plain mean. Stop being mean. There is a difference between giving an opinion and just being plain bitchy and judgmental. Nice guys don't always finish last, I promise you. 

And that's enough of that tangent. Sorry about that, loves... I had to get it out. Now, let's finish this thing on a light note - my giveaway winner!


Congrats, girl! I will be emailing you!

42 comments:

  1. You go girl!! Putting all these things out there takes GUTS! I'm 100% with you on the feeling insecure thing. And in photos...well, just don't even get me started. I am so self-conscious 99% of the time--it's ridiculous! I think you're beautiful and smart and funny...so keep on keepin' on :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree. Never get why people have to pick on people who don't do things the way they think they should...Great Post! Love that your so real & Congrats to the winner!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are INCREDIBLE... & I love you girl!! :)

    <3 Melissa

    P.S. I trip over myself constantly too.. Happens to the best of us lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are so Awesome, Whitney! This was such a fantastic post! :) Sometimes I honestly think we were separated at birth. I have a constant fear of failing, my boss tells me on the reg. that I overthink and overwhelm myself. Just to relax and let it happen. I wish Worrying and anxiety caused weight loss, I'd be rail thin!!!! I danced for my whole life, and ran into the wall in my bathroom this morning NO JOKE.

    ReplyDelete
  5. good for you for exposing this, girl! Takes a strong person and I hate cliques too....in the blog world you shouldn't have to worry about "fitting in" you should be able to do whatever the hell you want!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think I would have rather been called "Peep" than "Chipmunk Girl." That's what I got ... because of my cheeks. :-(

    And, yes, the cliques and bullying in the blog world is ridiculous. It's crazy that we, as women, feel the need to constantly tear each other down.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree with the comment above me, I was referred to as a chipmunk, even as recently as two years ago. Oh well.
    I definetly love that you confronted this. I have major self-esteem issues about things like this so it hit home. BUT know that I freaking LOVE reading your blog and think of you as a "big blogger" even if you don't.
    OH, and those "big bloggers" are bitches sometimes. And who likes a bitch? haha

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love it when people lay it all out on the table and are blunt with their readers. :) Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are so awesome and I love that you are a nerd, because I am a nerd. Thank you, thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I hate cliques too and was never a part of one. I am also super insecure about a lot of things. Loved this! You are awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Good post. The blog world is SO CLIQUE-Y! I have almost deleted my followers button a million times because I don't want to get caught up in the madness. I moved around a lot growing up, and we moved to a new town that was NOT southern, so my southern accent was the butt of tons of jokes. Because I was always picked on, I was a bitch. So, my last name was Clayton, and then was born the nickname Satan Clayton. Yep. Good times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I struggle with the GFC button, too. I admire bloggers out there who don't have them. Perhaps I will let go of the popularity-seeking high schooler within and pull the trigger. I can relate to your experience!

      Delete
  12. cliques aren't my thing either. even now i try and stay away from them because they're so much drama. and as for tripping over air- girl i do the SAME thing. ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I just wrote about the vortex that is GFC a couple days ago. I join a hop, follow all the hosts, then spend the next week feeling shameful because I drank the Kool-aid and now have a blog reel that is bursting at the seams...and I can't find a single one of the blogs I love to read every day. Like yours. But who doesn't want to be popular and liked, even in the blogosphere? I've thought about getting rid of the GFC widget so I can avoid those hops of shame.

    I, too, am clique-fearing. And you'll never find me at a high school reunion. I have no desire to relive that dynamic as an adult. I think the committee finally lost track of me.

    Happy Blogging!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Great post girl! I definitely struggle with some of those ssame things, so glad to know I'm not the only one! And btw, I think your blog is AWESOME :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow. We are very similar. I was (am) a total nerd, and I danced most of my life and I am a complete and total clutz. The least graceful person on earth (if there's a pole, you can be sure I'll walk into it - no joke). And I constantly worry - I am a perfectionist through and through. It's tiring! And like you - the clique thing. Cliques make me very nervous and very uncomfortable.

    Thank you so much for sharing. Having someone who can relate makes me feel better about myself!!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. i think you are gorgeous; and i could not imagine your bubbly personality (or so i imagine it is) insecure. I think I am the same way; i dont pt off my insecurities..but damn it I am ;)) i danced my whole life too; but i trip constantly. you are a cutie

    ReplyDelete
  17. Love the honesty!

    I am terribly clumsy too. Just this weekend I feel into my car. I'm not really even sure how it happened but I think my shoe got caught and I literally tumbled in. Ridic.

    I'm with ya on the meanness...it just isn't necessary!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I love this post and pretty much every other post you write.

    I admire you because you're real, insecurities and all.

    ReplyDelete
  19. You are fabulous and this is a fabulous post! I love that you wrote in a way that describes how you feel without attacking anyone. I see that so often and it kills me. I agree on the cliqueness and I think you're doing a great job of staying it out of it. I see you blogging and tweeting away to everyone and I love it! You are so sweet and open to everyone! Also, you are gorg and I was so jealous when I saw your picture of you without makeup from one of your older posts. You would scream if you saw me without my trusty makeup :) And hey, atleast no one called you fat! That has always been the easiest insult for people to use my entire life. I used to let it crush me but now I laugh because if that's the worst thing they can say about me then.. oh well!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I love this. Thanks for being vulnerable, it's so lacking on the blogosphere these days. I totally know what you mean in regards to insecurtities and not fitting in--throughout school, I never did, so I pretended that I didn't care. LIES. I totally cared and it hurt my feelings whenever I heard someone call me names. I still burst into tears occasionally when I hear someone call someone else a "bitch". WOrst judgmental word EVER.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Girl... we are so much alike! First, we have the same name. I was also called names in elementary school; Coleslaw. I didn't even like coleslaw, but they were making fun of my last name. The teasing stopped, but got worse in high school. I never fitted in, and my junior/senior year was HELL. I convinced my mom to switch me schools. I was THAT serious. I ended up finishing at my regular school that I had went to from 1st grade to then. I wanted so much to fit in, be accepted, invited to parties... never happened.

    I am also pretty clumsy, and I took dance for 16 years. Crazy, huh?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Love this post Whitney, you're not the only one to struggle with these things! We all do even though we should just be able to all be ourselves and it not to matter. Love you lovie! xo

    ReplyDelete
  23. I've never been a part of a clique either, and I always thought they were ridiculous. I never understood why people couldn't just be nice...to EVERYone. I was always kind of a loner, too...I had a few friends, and that was pretty much it, so I feel you there.

    Thank you for your honesty!! I know it's not always easy to write about!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Love love love this post, I couldn't agree more! Most of the time I feel like this blogging gig is just a repeat of high school. Everyone's trying to outdo everyone, everyone bashes other's opinions/looks/blog posts and mostly out of jealousy. I want nothing to do with that! Which is why I just blog for me, about ME and about my life and if anyone cares to read, I welcome them with open arms and will be their friend forever. haha.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I love this post and I love you! I'm all about keeping it real and displaying my quirks and weirdness and just real life stuff on my blog. I don't want to paint a picture of my life that's all happy all the time. You're gorgeous, just so you know :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is such a great post. It's so awesome that you were able to say all of this with 100% honesty. The good & the bad, all without being cruel to those that may deserve it.

    I haven't been in the blog world long enough to see any sign of cliques just yet, but I've heard about them and, quite frankly, it scares me too!

    Thanks for posting such a real post :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. I love this post! I've only been blogging for a few months now and seriously whenever I'm having a bad day, I go to twitter and I look at your tweets. You are hilarious & can always bring a smile to my face (promise I'm not a stalker ;) However, I completely get what you are saying. We have so much in common after reading this post. I'm so insecure about so many things its crazy! I never won any titles in high school and definitely wasn't one of the popular kids. I think it has helped me today to not be so judgmental like some of the popular kids used to be. Thanks for not always posting happy stuff, we all know that's fake anyways right!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I love this. And I love you! Please continue being awesome. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  29. It amazes me that someone as beautiful as you has insecurities, but it also reaffirms that we ALL have insecurities of some sort. I have a post I've been meaning to publish very similar to this one, and I think you've just inspired me to man-up and post it!! Love everything about this post!!

    Ashley
    The Darling Redhead

    ReplyDelete
  30. I have always pictured you as someone who "has it all together". Seriously, I am always in awe of your blog. I have to admit though that it's kind of refreshing to think that the girls I still think of as the "it" girls are just down to earth normal people with the same insecurities as all of us girls have. It makes me feel a little more normal and realize that it's ok to relax and just be myself. I didn't blog for a long time because I was afraid of being judged.
    I never quite felt like I fit in school either and to top it off I had really bad social anxiety in high school and throughout my early twenties. Luckily I am getting better and better with it as I get older.

    PS> You are gorgeous. You do not look like a peep and even if you did, pink peeps are super cute. You really are awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I agree fully on the whole bully thing. I was that girl in high school in her senior year who ate lunch in the office because I didn't have any real friends who shared my lunch period. I always thought when I became an adult these things would stop. These blogs are supposed to be little bits of our lives that we are willing to share and put out there. We know someone might judge our words or actions but guess what those people can just keep going, they don't need to stop, point, and laugh. I have always had that feeling that if you can't agree on something and it isn't going to kill 1 million people then just don't talk about it.

    Newest follower and I already love your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  33. This is so great, so honest. I was teased pretty relentlessly too, but because I had scoliosis so I was called a slew of hurtful names for years. It was awful!


    xoxo Bree
    The Urban Umbrella
    http://www.theurbanumbrella.com/

    ReplyDelete
  34. I love love love this post. So many of us feel this way and just don't post it--I was teased a number of times growing up for several reasons, I'm insecure about my weight, and I don't always feel like I fit in. I've learned to hide things really well but on the inside somedays I am just crying or screaming wanting to be alone in my room. It's sad, but it's even sadder that kids are still having to deal with those problems.

    Thank you for sharing this :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. LOVE this post! Seriously. I can completely relate to just about everything you said. That is basically me in a nutshell minus the dancing, haha! But I applaud you for putting this side of you out there. I think a lot of people can really understand exactly where you're coming from but most of us just don't talk about it enough. We're too busy trying to conceal that side.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hello overachieving perfectionist, my name is Holly and can we be besties?! I feel like this all.the.time! I don't know why I let this consume me, or why I get insecure about myself, but it's got to stop. I'm making a conscious effort every day just like you. We can help each other!

    I completely agree with the fact that just because someone shares their opinion - and I do think there is a difference between being bitchy and sharing an opinion - doesn't give people the right to be so mean. If you don't like someone's opinion, don't comment. Or don't read their blog. That's not so hard, is it?

    Thanks for being vulnerable! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  37. This post is awesome. I was never "popular" or "trendy" or whatever else in high school. I was just myself. I had friends in a lot of different groups, but at the same time, never really fit in anywhere. Having my son, I cringe thinking about what he might encounter at school. I hope and wish that he won't have to endure anything terrible, and hope that I am teaching him to be nice and accepting of everyone.
    Way to put this all out there. :)

    ReplyDelete
  38. I love this post. Absolutely love it, because I can relate to so much of it. I read it and seriously wanted to like book a flight and come hang out with you (accept, I iz brokez, so that ain't happening ... for now LOL) ... I was bullied in elementary school. Seriously, 7th grade was the worst year of my life ... I've never really felt like I found somewhere where I belonged. And I'm clumsy ... oh so clumsy ... its a running joke because every vacation I've ever been on I fall or trip or something LOL. I feel sad at some of the bullying that happens in the world, even/especially our blog world. I'm a firm believer in treating others the way you want to be treated ...

    ReplyDelete
  39. Thanks for posting this! I love your openess and honesty! I have many of the same insecurities and struggle against them every single day as well. But that's ok because those things make you funny and make your blog amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Best post ever! Dork girls unite!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the love - I love hearing from each and every one of you. It makes my day!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...