Hey party peoples. How's it going? Good? Good.
Today is going to be one of those days.
You know, one of those days that I go off on a tangent about something that has struck my last nerve. Who's ready to ramble? This girl. Lezdoit.
So, guess what?
I'm not perfect. I know, such a shocker, right? *insert hair flip here*
And guess what? Neither are you. There, I said it.
If you think you are perfect, you are full of it. (oh damn, who's already pissed at me?)
Sometimes elements of my life suck. Moments of this week, in particular, have been plain sucky. During the course of these particularly sucky times I have seen some people (yes, vague. Sorry, kiddos) do some things that are actually so obnoxious it pains me.
So, obviously instead of taking of bottle of wine to the face and bitching to a girlfriend, I'm coming here to spew some word vomit all over my blog's face.
Wait, who am I kidding? I totally did the first part, too. Whatevs.
Now, I'm not saying I am a fan of those of you who use Facebook as your virtual tissue but, for the love of the new iPhone 5, please stop cramming how PERFECT your life is down people's throats.
There is a difference between being genuinely happy and thinking you are perfect.
The latter being the purpose of this post.
If you are the one who is constantly tweeting, facebooking, blogging, twitting or whatever the hell other social media outlet you prefer, about how AMAZING and FLAWLESS your life is - I'm pointing my boney, imperfect finger straight at you.
I also call bullshit.
If you feel the need to constantly push people to believe you are living in Pleasantville, I believe there's a real good chance you are covering up something. Like an emotional dead body.
Or something. (wait, what?)
"Your continuous tweets about the awesomeness that is your life lead me to suspect it's exaggeration."
...but seriously. I need this whole I shit rainbows facade to flush itself already.
We all have our probz and we all have ourweeks days.
My girl Hannah Montana knows it...
Look at this tall drink of perfection.
Not so perfect after all.
So homegirl likes to snuggle with her sexpot body guard, and what?
I'm not saying the occasional I love life/boyfriend/mom/Honey Boo Boo, tweet and/or post is obnoxious. Because that's not what I'm ranting over today - so don't get your sensitive panties in a twist.
I love a good sprinkle of happiness from my girls to adorn my feeds from time to time and I give a big "you go, Glen Coco" to those updates.
Everything in moderation, I say.
Basically, the bottom line I'm getting to here is that the whole I'm so perfectly perfectness of perfect has gotten under my skin and I'm pleading with the feed flooders to cut it out. Go be happy, I'm happy for you. I appreciate your optimism - but if you continue to shove your perfectness down my throat I'm going to go ahead and call you a liar liar pants on fire in my head.
And make vague tweets about you. Just kidding... kind of.
Who hates me and is going to go leave an anonymous comment and unfollow me now?
My apologies for not being perfect.
And guess what? Neither are you. There, I said it.
If you think you are perfect, you are full of it. (oh damn, who's already pissed at me?)
Sometimes elements of my life suck. Moments of this week, in particular, have been plain sucky. During the course of these particularly sucky times I have seen some people (yes, vague. Sorry, kiddos) do some things that are actually so obnoxious it pains me.
So, obviously instead of taking of bottle of wine to the face and bitching to a girlfriend, I'm coming here to spew some word vomit all over my blog's face.
Wait, who am I kidding? I totally did the first part, too. Whatevs.
Now, I'm not saying I am a fan of those of you who use Facebook as your virtual tissue but, for the love of the new iPhone 5, please stop cramming how PERFECT your life is down people's throats.
There is a difference between being genuinely happy and thinking you are perfect.
The latter being the purpose of this post.
If you are the one who is constantly tweeting, facebooking, blogging, twitting or whatever the hell other social media outlet you prefer, about how AMAZING and FLAWLESS your life is - I'm pointing my boney, imperfect finger straight at you.
I also call bullshit.
If you feel the need to constantly push people to believe you are living in Pleasantville, I believe there's a real good chance you are covering up something. Like an emotional dead body.
Or something. (wait, what?)
"Your continuous tweets about the awesomeness that is your life lead me to suspect it's exaggeration."
...but seriously. I need this whole I shit rainbows facade to flush itself already.
We all have our probz and we all have our
My girl Hannah Montana knows it...
Look at this tall drink of perfection.
Not so perfect after all.
So homegirl likes to snuggle with her sexpot body guard, and what?
I'm not saying the occasional I love life/boyfriend/mom/Honey Boo Boo, tweet and/or post is obnoxious. Because that's not what I'm ranting over today - so don't get your sensitive panties in a twist.
I love a good sprinkle of happiness from my girls to adorn my feeds from time to time and I give a big "you go, Glen Coco" to those updates.
Everything in moderation, I say.
Basically, the bottom line I'm getting to here is that the whole I'm so perfectly perfectness of perfect has gotten under my skin and I'm pleading with the feed flooders to cut it out. Go be happy, I'm happy for you. I appreciate your optimism - but if you continue to shove your perfectness down my throat I'm going to go ahead and call you a liar liar pants on fire in my head.
And make vague tweets about you. Just kidding... kind of.
Who hates me and is going to go leave an anonymous comment and unfollow me now?
My apologies for not being perfect.
Anonymous comment of hatred, ya baysh.
ReplyDeleteAhhhh-men.
Well you just made my day perfect haha...Hello Johnny Depp, now that's a nice way to start a morning :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not perfect. But sometimes I think, if I just had those boots I want, I'd be perfect. Or if I could lose that last 20 pounds, I'd be perfect. Or if my dog was made of glitter, I'd be perfect. But ya know, I'm not perfect. No one is. But wine? wine is pretty darn perfect.
ReplyDeleteYeaaaaah that Johnny Depp quote is the best. WHO is perfect?? NO ONE. Whoever this Twitter/Facebook feed hog is, they're not fooling anyone. We all have issues and it is our job to make the BEST out of our life, right?
ReplyDeleteHappy Wednesday, friend :-)
AMENNN to emotional dead bodies - hahahaha!
ReplyDeleteGodddd, I love you! I've had to cut down on Fb because I was getting annoyed with all the perfect lives on there. As bitter as this makes me sound - do you know what I can't wait to see? How those "perfect" lives look in the next 5 or 10 years... for realz. Also, I love you're mean girl reference. :)
ReplyDeleteI was literally just talking about this same thing with a friend! Obvs we're not going to blast ALL our imperfections and IRL fights on the interwebs, but no one believes your life and relationship is as perfect as some people want you to believe. So annoying! Amen sister!
ReplyDeleteOh sweet sister I knew there was a reason we were brought together. I couldn't agree more. There is a blog I don't physically follow, but read from time to time and it is written exactly as you've called out here...which is why I don't read it every day. One can only take so much pukey perkiness for so long. Holla atcha! ♥ this post!!
ReplyDeletehaha this is the PERFECT rant.
ReplyDelete(see what I did there?!)
Preach it sistah! I agree with you. However, I never really go all out there and post my stressful times on twitter or fb bc I know no one really cares (and I have family on both!) and I'm not really into airing dirty laundry, except to my friends of course. :) Steph and I were actually texting about this the other day...NO ONE is perfect! PS hope this homegirl wasn't me you are referring to haha xo
ReplyDeleteI love that quote from one mr sexy Johnny Depp :) If you serously go around saying OMG! My husband/boyfriend/girlfriend are just sooo amazingly perfect, I have the perfect car, the perfect house, the perfect dog, the perfect hair, perfect makeup yada yada yada.....the husband/boyfriend/girlfriend are probably cheating, the car probably has money owed on it, the house is probably bought by mommy or daddy, the dog bites people, the hair is fake, the makeup is to cover the fact you need a face lift. I feel like people who feel the need to blast to the world about their perfect everything are just trying to stop from crying in the corner because well....life is going to hell in a handbasket. The real happy ones just share quietly to friends and family the happy moments in their life.
ReplyDeleteLove this post today!
Agree 100%. No one likes someone who is constantly airing their dirty laundry all over the internet, but I love when people are normal! No matter how happy you are there are not-so-perfect things that happen, and pretending there aren't just makes you fake. Love that you're not perfect! Although I think you are VERY close :)
ReplyDeleteWord. I think everyone has someone like that in their (social media) life. On a rough day, it makes me feel like shiz. On a good day, I realize that they are flawed. Possibly more than I am, because I don't feel the need to convince everyone of my perfection. It must be exhausting trying to carry that facade.
ReplyDeletenope. love you even more now, actually. this is pretty much the greatest blog post of all time. i can't tell you how many times i want to stick my hand into my phone and wring some Pollyanna's neck. enough is enough (are we just crabby asses? i think now...) let's be real for once, right? i'm not saying i want to hear people whine and cry all the time either, but let's find a balance....sheesh.
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you, sista! I have a FB friend whose every post every.single.day something along the lines of "happy wednesday, the sun is shining, I'm in love, all is right with the world, bird flew out of my ass, blah blah blah". I get it if she is happy her life is moving in a better direction but it just doesn't seem real to me. I would rather hear about the real girl who burned the pancakes & dropped a fork in the disposal mixed in with all the rainbows & sunshine.
ReplyDeleteThis post was so honest & I think that the blogs are the perfect place to express your thoughts, feelings & opinions. I think on other media outlets its more about the perception that you want the people who "know" you to make of you. Honestly I don't really feel that great about FB anymore because there are too many people like you described on there.
I love this post. Those girls who think they have it all and throw it in your face annoy the hell out of me. It's like they're purposefully trying to make you feel bad for not having everything together. I've decided I want nothing to do with those girls either. Those of us that are hot messes need to stick together! ;)
ReplyDeleteSo this was exactly what I needed right now. You are so right, people who think their life is perfect are just trying to pull one over on the rest of us, failing but trying. I wish there was a "see less rainbow shit" button.
ReplyDelete<3 Melissa
Today, I tripped twice on the way into work 'cuz I was wearing some new shoes (which are fabulous, btw).
ReplyDeleteThat happened.
You were nervous about this post why? I love it. Life isn't rainbows and unicorns. Love ya!
ReplyDeleteXO
Kait
I did several "amen, sista" yells during this post. I think above all, preaching about your life and it's amazingness and how many compliments you received today or whatnot is just a sign of insecurity. If you need to validate things like your life/friendships/relationships on social media, then it's an issue. It's important to note there's a difference between sharing your life and being genuinely happy, and taking it to the point where it's phony and forced.
ReplyDelete-Alyssa
The Glossy Life
I LOVE this rant. I too feel that if you're constantly talking about how amazing your life is....somethin ain't right.
ReplyDeleteNow I tweet about how much a love my job, but I'll also tweet about the amount of profanity I spew at my desk some days.
I love my daughter more than life itself, but I also share on twitter and fb and my blog some of this stuff she does that makes me bat shit crazy.
If you're sooooooo perfect I automatically think 'She doth protest too much!'
So thanks for keepin it reals here in blog land.
love it all girl
ReplyDeletegreat job;
and as everyone else said.. you are right lady
Agree! What about those who do nothing but complain all the time on social media? I have a "friend" on FB who is either gloating or saying how life is so unfair. There is no middle ground with her. It all annoys me to no end.
ReplyDeleteBahahaha! I think the line I loved most was about rainbows! I am also under the influence of cold/sinus medication, so oopsie. I've unfollowed some peeps lately, because a) I don't need to see pix every day of your Chanel/Jimmy Choo/Manolo/other$$$brand stuff, and b) I end up feeling like a "less-than" since I only instagram things like ohyunno my dogs, family & friends, a wreath I made, crafts, etc. Ya know, the important stuff (the can of hairspray I posted wasn't that important). I guess what I'm saying is...THANK YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteListen, I have NO idea what you're talking about. I don't see this kind of stuff anywhere... ;) ;)
ReplyDeleteusually when people drone on about how perfect their life is, chances are it's not perfect, they're just trying to convince themselves that it is...
ReplyDeleteTrue that. I am for sure not perfect. I post all pretty things and only pictures of me looking fab, but in reality do you know i wear yoga pants to work EVERY SINGLE DAY at an actual office? Its a horrible thing but amazing thing and I thought I should share with you because well it's the title of your blog.
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up daily:)
www.confessionsofaprofessionalbridesmaid.com
I totally block these people from my news feed on fb! The ones that are either eternally perfect or eternally pissy...either extreme gets you blocked! lol :)
ReplyDeleteAmen girl!! Love this post.
ReplyDeleteI can't stand when people try and make their life seem perfect. No one's life is perfect. No one. I think it would be really boring...... :)
ReplyDeletea-fucking-men sister. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteI call bullshit on myself a lot - like I think my life is perfect and I blog about it - because then that's karma's notification to rain down a shit storm on me of epic proportions so that I can whine about my life not being perfect anymore. It's a great balance. Believing my life is perfect...until it isn't. Dammit.
ReplyDeleteOMG. I love you! You posted a Hannah Montana in your post ... That makes you perfect in my eyes! But for real, I get what you're saying. It drives me batty when people do this. I'm sure I've driven others batty about things, but I try hard to keep it real. Always.
ReplyDeleteOne thing you will NEVER see me do it be a name dropper or a one-upper. Biggest pet peeve ever.
PS - Did you watch the video?! Is it just me or does her backup dancer at QUICK glance look like Bethenny Frankel?! Ha ... I need help.
Loooove you!!! Great post!!
Obviously you don't know me because my life IS perfect.
ReplyDeleteNOT!
"Everyone knows you are just one positive "I love my life" status away from a nervous breakdown"
I effin' love these posts. I think you need to blog about people who post about their engagement/marriage/pregnancies non stop. Drives me insane (and makes me jealous since apparently God hates my uterus, and life).
ReplyDeleteFOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I couldn't agree more. I wrote a similar post about a month ago. Perfect little happy life? Bullshit.
ReplyDeleteI noticed someone said in the comments that they wish people would stop blogging their wedding. That was in my post too. Ha!
Here it is: http://www.handbagsandhandguns.com/2012/04/this-may-be-funniest-thing-youll-ever.html
Ohhhh honey boo boo.. you tell em sista! "Perfect" peeps probably laugh at my life bc it's such a hot mess! I don't see any anonymous comments on this post here bc everyone agrees! You're a genius duh. Also, earlier today I commented on a post that didn't quite strike my fancy.. it wasn't anonymous and this chick ripped me a new one for having my own opinion. YIKES! Love you long time xoxox
ReplyDeleteTrue dat woman! That's why I keep it realz on my blog. I'm far from perfect, in fact I'm quite the fuck up.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!! I believe that when people go on and on about how wonderful their life is, it's an exaggeration.
ReplyDeleteNever be afraid to post what you are thinking!
No it's true though! Nobody's life is THAT perfect, I think people should just be real! It's much more endearing.
ReplyDeleteSo photo shopping my face to a perfect body and a motor yacht is NOT acceptable?
ReplyDeleteJust kidding- a huge amen to this post
Love this post!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more! I know so many girls who write what they are doing and who they are with 24/7 to try to make everyone else jealous. No one is jealous of you, we pity you for having to broadcast it to the world. If you're at your favorite band's concert, then go ahead and check-in and post a photo- that is awesome! Met a celebrity- cool, you can brag about that. But the little moments that are so braggy can just get annoying.
ReplyDeleteLife Unsweetened
Your blog, especially this post, complete my day. So thanks for posting the greatest post ever! So true in every way. Nobody is perfect fo sho.
ReplyDeleteKhrysty
Get it, girl. Preach! I totally agree with this. There is nothing I hate more than blatant fakeness. Is that even a word? It is now. No one is perfect, and we ALL know that. The thing I love most about this blog world is that we can be honest and transparent, especially when life sucks and the scale lies and our hair looks like shit...perfection isn't pretty. Honesty is. Thanks for this reminder, love. You're my favorite!
ReplyDeleteNone of us are perfect. My favorite blogs are the ones who keep it real... warts and all.
ReplyDeleteThis post just made my Friday favorites on Friday.
ReplyDeleteWord.
There's also a difference between not blaring your dirty laundry on Facebook and being fake.
My best friend once called me crying about her live in boyfriend and we got off the phone. Ten minutes I see on Facebook 'i love you josh you're the best man I've ever met'
Whaaaaa????
I called her out haha but that's ridiculous!
No sensitive panties bunched here. LOVE THIS! lol. My hatred for this kind of crap isn't the perfect stuff, it's the "my life sucks" and "woe is me"! Nobody's life is perfect and nobody wants to hear how perfect you think you are or how pathetic ones life is either. I follow and unfollow more people for this exact reason. Go on with your rant sistah!
ReplyDeletethanks so much for this post. sometimes i feel like i have to have a perfect life like some of my fellow mormon mommy bloggers and i try so hard not to compare my life with theirs. cuz let's be real, life is hard. new follower as of today!
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog today from Tyler's Blog (New Leaves and New Longings)...and I'm surprised I haven't been here before.
ReplyDeleteWe have to be twins...seperated at birth.
I just deleted Facebook on Sunday for this reason.
Well, the big reason was the addiction to it and the distraction...but the straw that broke the camel’s back was all the "my life is amazing, my family is amazing" posts. I had several friends who posted about how wonderful and amazing their bf's were on a DAILY basis. How they were sooo lucky. That’s great...have you told HIM that??? I love my fiancé and I know I'm a lucky girl but I don't need to blow up Facebook and Twitter about it daily. People need to get a grip.
So...PREACH SISTA!
Loving this post, although girls have a right to feel "put together", do you agree? how much better do we feel after hair nails make up... spa days, botox... whatever it may be.. I was a hairstylist and make up artist, now i work for a plastic surgeon... the best part of my job is helping women (or men) reach that goal the feel, to them.. is perfection... the key is to do it for yourself.. no one else...
ReplyDeleteBrianna
ThePlasticPlace.blogspot.com
I needed to read this today. It's been an aweful Monday,and I was searching for a somewhat positive spin. Sometimes it just ain't a good day and that's ok! Love this post and that e-card hahaha!
ReplyDeleteFANTASTIC. stumbled across your blog via blair's headband and am LOVING IT. you're a doll.
ReplyDelete