Friday, November 9, 2012

A girl walks in to her office hungover.

A girl walks in to a restaurant for a casual evening meal with her girlfriend.
Upon stepping through the doors of said restaurant the two ladies spot a sign which mentioned something along the lines of "$1 Martini Night For Ladies".
Bingo.
Source: google.com via Heather on Pinterest

The shorter blonde sees "Cosmo" on the list of martinis to choose from and immediately she is Carrie Bradshaw.
Carrie continues to order 3 of these cosmos, completely ignoring the fact that she has to be at work promptly at 8am the following day.
"La la la, this is a great ladies night."
"These martinis are so good, I want to do this every Thursday night!"
"Can I get a little less cranberry this time?"
They ordered some sushi because surely the rice in those 12 sushi pieces was going to be a substantial amount of carbohydrates to suck up all of that vodka by the time their 6:30am alarms sound.
Or not. 

The following morning Carrie woke up in pure confusion as to why her phone was making strange noises.
"Oh, my alarm... work.", she finally pieces together through the fog.
She no longer feels like a New York City, fancy martini drinking, fashionista. Quite the opposite, really.
After laying in bed, roaming all forms of social media, maybe even sending a tweet complaining about her painful state, she heads straight to the Brita to pour her self the largest glass of water known to Zephyrhills.
Her head is throbbing, her vision is blurred, she can't understand what happened to her 21 year old self who used to be able to drink your average frat boy under the table and wake up feeling like a fresh rosebud the following morning.
Rosebud, she was not. Her 21 year old self would be very disappointed.
Her two white dogs follow her around, seeming to know what's going on as they're extra full of energy at such an early hour.

Finally she manages to make it to the dryer to find some clean clothes that match, which proved to be more of a challenge than actually getting out of bed that morning.
Dressed, dogs walked, water in hand she makes her way to work.
She turns on her car, "I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE WHEN YOU WALKED IT!!!!!".
"Dammit Taylor Swift, WHY are you screaming at me right now?! I didn't cheat on you, bitch!", she thinks after being horridly startled from the loud music that was coming from her car.
She passed multiple drive thru establishments on her way to work but resisted the temptation, mostly because she hadn't checked her bank account yet to evaluate the damage that may have occurred last night.

A girl walks in to her office hungover.
Happy Friday.

44 comments:

  1. I am definately feeling your pain as well this morning... Also, love that song. And was totally eye-ing the McD's drive through on the way in.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I woulda nommed the hell out of Chik-Fil-A. You know you wannaaaaa

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahaha! My 21 year old self is always ashamed of me, too. Damn it!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This post had me laughing out loud - I love this story... I often wonder what happen to my 21 year old self too. I miss her :(

    Feel better so you can have a big glass of wine when you get home!

    ReplyDelete
  5. BUT, they were $1! you can't pass that up. I woulda done the same thing. Which is why one of these days Im going to get fired.

    ReplyDelete
  6. McDonald's cheeseburger, fries, & orange drank is always my hangover cure. Works every time.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lmao... I love this post. $1 martinis? I'd be hungover this morning, too, girl! Hope your hangover isn't too bad ;]

    ReplyDelete
  8. oh man - bank account roulette is the most dangerous game i play every single weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  9. $1 martini night?! Big score!
    Hope you survive the day, at least it's Friday! You can replay last night & wake up the 'correct' way on Saturday! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. oh girl. there's nothing wrong with feeling rough on a friday morning. I'm right there with ya. But my poison was in the form of just plain ole wine. It gets me EVERY time. Drink some McDonald's coke - and get some Chic Fil A and feeeeeeeeeeeel better: )

    ReplyDelete
  11. I was going to say EVERYTHING Brooke said, so I guess I'm just left with "Ditto"

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hahaha I love this!! I have done this exact same thing WAY too many times...Oh to be 21 again!

    ReplyDelete
  13. that was me Tuesday -- I did "Meatless Monday" with JM and a girlfriend.... it was a less than substantial meal.... Tuesday morning was BRUTAL.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Uhhh been there, done that. Once was enough to make me not do it again haha! I love the way you wrote this post- so funny!

    Life Unsweetened

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh girl. Let me tell you a little story about this place called "The Tavern".. you see they have 6 or maybe 7 establishments across the Denver area and on Thursdays they have ladies night where the drinks are FREE! Omg best thing ever.. or not! I would say that I have spent at least 10 Thursdays there getting smashed and then picking up the sad pieces of my life and putting them back together Friday morning. Anywhoo.. You iz funny and I lurve you. xoxox

    ReplyDelete
  16. Great post, so funny! I would not have passed up a Thursday with $1 martinis though either!!

    Shannon
    bigdreamsandexpensivetaste.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  17. HAHAHAHA! Gotta love girls' nights out. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. It's so much harder than it used to be. I remember going out Thursday- Monday in College, fully functioning and making the grades, what happened?!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Yeah we aint 21 anymore girlfriend!

    ReplyDelete
  20. So funny! Moral of the story, any kind of $1 alcoholic beverage, should never be trusted!

    ReplyDelete
  21. $1 martinis?! Trouble. I 100% agree with the McDonald's Coke - for some reason, it works.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ahhh...the good old days. 1.25 Cosmos are enough to give me the giggles. Insert smirk faced bartender offering a third here.
    Lisette
    Northern Belle Diaries

    ReplyDelete
  23. oh god. hahahaha. this makes me feel even older GAH! I can't handle those days anymore. long gone. does that make me boring? I hope not. B/c challenge me and I WILL getttttttttt downnnn

    ReplyDelete
  24. Where is this $1 martini place? No, please don't tell me. My bank account canNOT handle those shenanigans right now.

    ReplyDelete
  25. haha love the Taylor Swift part. Bet that sounded amazing to your throbbing head.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Switch those martinis to wine, and we lived the same life last night.

    Also, if I found a place that had $1 martini night I would forever go to work hungover on Fridays. That's amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hungover Fridays at the office- reason #52 I am sooooo happy I get to work at home these days. I'm currently on my 3rd hashbrown patty, in sweats, working/watching Bravo.

    Sorry that sounded really pompous. I meant I (used to) feel your pain is all.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hahahahaha. My 21 year old self would be ashamed too. Actually, my 23 (maybe 24) year old self would be equally ashamed. My current self is a lame old lady who cannot hang.

    ReplyDelete
  29. you were stimulating the economy and saving yourself money at all once....you are VERY american. plus now you have more money to spend on drinks this weekend. :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hahah cracks me up!!!! I can totally relate!!

    New follower!
    :)
    Happy Friday!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I read this as soon as I woke up this morning and boy...it did not sound good at all. I feel for you! My first trip would have taken me straight to Chipotle!

    ReplyDelete
  32. You make me smile & this is exactly why I love you.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hi there! I have no idea how I found you, but I have been laughing to myself for the past hour going through some of your posts. Love it! You are pretty hilarious and I may want to BE you now...just not in a weird way. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  34. My 21 year old self would be ashamed of my 28 year old a$$....my drinking capabilities have steadily declined....takes two days to recover these days :(

    You are too funny though, and I enjoy your posts!

    ReplyDelete
  35. finally gonna stop lurking in the blogging world and comment, so glad there's someone else out there that enjoys that cardboardeaux as much as i do, and shows up to work hungover on the reg! ...ain't no shame gurl, we're just good at what we do, right?

    ReplyDelete
  36. HAHA! I feel your pain! Thursday nights are the best here because of the drink specials and happy hours. Friday mornings not so much...

    ReplyDelete
  37. Aww hell $1 martinis would've sucked me in too. What happened to the days when I could do start drinking at noon, do multiple keg stands and wake up the next day after 4 hrs of sleep and feel okay? Now I need 2-3 days to recover. My hungover butt would've stopped at Dunkin Donuts for some breakfast food ASAP. I'm starting to think bars and fast food places are in cahoots with their Thurs night drink specials....mmhmm just a ploy to get us in the drive-thru

    ReplyDelete
  38. Too funny!!! I have definitely gotten into the car in the morning wondering why on god's green earth I needed the music that loud... though I know I do my best signing when I am screaming!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Haha, so funny, and yet so relateable! Although suprised you managed to walk the dogs.
    Love your blog too, such a great read.
    xx
    http://heroineinheels.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...