Monday, November 19, 2012

My favorite physical activity aside from beer pong and flip cup.

Well hey there, party peoples! 
I'm back from Seattle, also known as the trip I spent more time in the air than in the actual town I flew to. If you didn't know, I was there shooting a wedding for two people I have known since we were knee high to a curb. It was a beautiful wedding but considering I left my hotel at 2:30AM yesterday and didn't return to Florida soil until 8:30PM - I can barely remember my own name right now.

With that said, I want to talk about airports and flying.

When I wasn't doing this - 
(Which, lezbihonest, was 9 out of my 10 hours of flight time.)

I was doing my favorite physical activity aside from beer pong and flip cup.
Also known as people watching.

Flying is quite possibly the greatest form of birth control besides attending a small child's birthday party.
 I swear over the course of the 20-something hours I spent in 4 different airports this weekend I saw more child leashes than I've seen at Disney during Christmas time and I've heard more screams than opening night of the Blair Witch Project.

Color me informed - parenthood is no walk in the park.
Though I'm not sure that the one child I crossed paths with that I actually enjoyed will agree. She became my favorite somewhere during a conversation with her bigger brother while she explained that when she grew up she wanted to be a princess and a mom. Homegirl was my kind of peeps, I could tell.

Once I got over the initial shell shock of being in a sea of whining, screaming small people, I settled in my small airplane seat where I was forced to shove my partially broken earbuds in my ears to avoid casual conversation with the seemingly lonely business man sitting next to me.
At least I managed to score a couple of free diet cokes and a bag of stale pretzels.

Killing time on a 5 hour flight can also cause for extreme boredom.
Enter: SkyMall.com
If you've never picked up an issue of SkyMall from your conveniently placed seat pocket you are missing out on some of the world's most insignificant and unnecessary items to purchase ever.

I would personally get serious entertainment if I saw someone lugging this through airport security.
Do you run this thing through the x-ray machine or what?


Leg and thigh massage, anyone?
Thanks to SkyMall you no longer need a significant other. Just strap on these ever so flattering boots and thigh cuffs and prepare to have your world rocked.


Want to teach your cat how to use your toilet? Who doesn't?!
Litter Kwitter... What could go wrong?


Have you ever tried to put shoes on your cat or dog?
No, just me? Well, I can tell you one thing for certain... They won't stand there like this for you.
I once put Ella in a pair of socks and she walked around like each paw was stuck in gum. 


My favorite.
Just because they chose the name "Butch".



Really though, whoever has the job of selecting the products SkyMall carries must have one hell of a creative thought process.

And that's all I've got for you today, friends.
If anyone has an IV of RedBull, feel free to send it my way. 

30 comments:

  1. Skymall is always enjoyable!! :)

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  2. How much do you love 939 followers? I wish I could sleep on planes, but alas, I cannot. Sophie has some boots - and they aren't really her thing. She didn't get that from me. Happy skymall shopping.

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  3. Ah I love browsing the Skymall magazine one flights haha. So much stuff that I never knew I needed!! Gah, my dogs are such little brats I can promise that there would be no way of getting all four boots on either one of them, let alone any picture taking haha.

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  4. haha flying is the worst! I've seriously contemplated a few purchases in SkyMall. Must have been the altitude.

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  5. Those doggie shoes are hilarious! SkyMall keeps me entertained for at least 15 minutes every flight...though it gets bad when you get to the point of boredom mid-flight when you start to re-read SkyMall! ~Brett

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  6. Someone bought my dog little snow boots as a gift. I put struggled to put those stupid things on. She also walked around as if gum was stuck underneath, but the best part is that when we got outside... she started walking in 4 inches of snow we had, next thing I know, her cute little pink snow shoes were in the snow and no longer on her! LOL

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  7. OMG those little doggie boots! How adorable! Glad you had a safe trip!

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  8. HAHAAHA loved this post. Perfect for a Monday :) Also, I'm adding "Color me informed" to my list of things I say

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  9. I can't even lie... I would probably rock that leg and thigh massager!

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  10. I never get through much of sky mall without getting nauseated, but those leg massagers would be terribly difficult to put on whilst sitting in an airplane seat..unless they are totally NOT for riding on an airplane... lol I hope you are resting :) xoxox

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  11. I love that my bff is a famous blogger now. 939 say whaaa?! I kind of think that doggy in ugg boots is the cutest thing ever sooo Lily might need some for Christmas. She will like keeping her little paws warm when I make her go out in the snow! Preshies. Oh, and you sleeping like a little angel. Lurve.

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  12. LOL! I can't get over the litter kwitter... now if I could get a cat to do that I might be more keen to the idea of actually owning one ;)

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  13. ha, silly SkyMall, but oh how I love to people watch!!

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  14. My brother used to make "socks" for our childhood dog, using paper towels which he then secured at the top by wrapping tape around them. So it was like the dog had a ruffly, not really elastic-ized sock. And yes, walked around like he had gum on the bottom of each foot. Or he'd just stand still and give you the stink eye.
    Speaking of stink eye, it's usually what I use a lot during air travel. Apparently some peeps just don't get the message though.

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  15. OK...I LOVE sky mall. Like to the point that I get all excited when I know I'm flying somewhere because I know I will get to see the sky mall catalog. I'm even excited to look through the same exact catalog on the way home. And I'm not sure what kind of cray cray kiddos you were flying with. Cuz Momma don't play that lose your shit on a plane mess and Boomer knows it. She's been flying since she was a baby and she is a pro. Like pro to the point that people have full convos with her on the plane and tell me how awesome she is. Then we get off the plane and back home, and she's back to her cray cray self again. Oh well, she's a champ flyer so you win some you lose some.

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  16. My favorite thing to do is read the skymall when I travel!! The things in there are RIDICULOUS!

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  17. i love skymall. my friend loves it so much he subscribed to it and gets it in the mail (he needs help, I know)

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  18. i have got to get that massage thing for my husband...wonder if there is an option for a back massager!

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  19. Skymall is my husband's favorite part of flying. This summer we flew twice in one month and he was so pissed off that it was the same Skymall mag.

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  20. I have a $25 Skymall gift card and no idea how to use it. I can't find anything that isn't useless. ha.

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  21. I've never heard of Skymall but when I fly in 2 weeks, I'll be sure to check it out. I should go ahead and order my leg massager now so it's here in time for my flight. At least it's a pretty blue color ;)

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  22. hahah skymall becomes my best friend on flights! I freaking love laughing at the absurd things in there

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  23. What is better than people watching? NOTHING Airports are the best for it!

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  24. Dear God no, tell me that stuff doesn't really exist? And if it does I want people to use it so I can laugh at them.

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  25. I looove browsing Sky Mall! I really enjoyed the toilet training the cat too...I wonder if people actually buy stuff from there or if it's purely for entertainment purposes.

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  26. Oh yes, small children are my form of birth control. Just watching them terrorize their parents makes my ovaries shut down.

    Sky mall is the best. Litter Kwitter?! Almost choked I laughed so hard. Ridic.

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  27. I just laughed out loud! I LOVE that large pillow/lap rest/head rest thing! If it had a handle to carry it - I would be sold. Haha!

    thehartungs.blogspot.ca

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  28. bahaha. hilariously... ridiculous. but you look cute! :)

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  29. Hahah at the picture in my head of Ella wearing boots..I can picture EXACTLY how she would've been walking. Too funny. And I was on a flight from Europe to New Zealand (like 20+ hours or something freaking ridiculous. It was horrible..anyways) and this toddler was just going MAMA MAAMAAA MAMAMAMAMAMA the wholE FLIPPING PLANE RIDE and the mom wouldn't even tell the kid to shutup. I was getting so angry ahhhaha

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