Somewhere between the hours of 4 and 5am last night, during a fit of my routine insomnia, I got a pretty feisty evil eye from a 3 pound Maltese because I moved.
So, naturally, I laid in the most uncomfortable, stiff position for the rest of the night to avoid being on the receiving end of those beady little evil eyes once again. Of course, it got me thinking...
My life has gone to the dogs.
These two dogs, to be specific.
The three of us share one king sized bed and somehow it seems I'm the one out of place.
I get kicked by Ella multiple times through the night, as if I'm invading HER space.
Maybe I belong on the floor? But then I'm pretty sure we'd have one empty king sized bed and one crowded floor.
Riddle me that.
I've also become a literal human dog bed at some point during these last 6 years since bringing home my beloved first born, Ella.
Why lay in those pricey, plush little beds your human purchases when you can get a living, breathing human?
Clearly, these two are far too superior for something as juvenile as a dog bed.
Mom Bed, hashtag for the win.
Sleeping up to the last possible 20 minutes before work is only an option if I want to be late for work.
Because we have to do this for at least 15 minutes every morning.
This is normally when I scare my neighbors away with my desirable bed head and stylish jammies.
Shame? What shame?
Let's not forget, I'm the one with the dog who shedoobies on people's doorstep.
Any time I try and be all vain and send a girlfriend a mirror shot of an outfit I'm thinking about wearing, these two photo bomb me like a tourist at Disney.
I mean, what #ootd photo is complete without a dog's ass?
None of mine are, that's for damn sure.
I've also come to realize that no homemade meal is complete without this audience:
They're my biggest fans and I always get a standing ovation from them.
Even more so when they get in on the taste testing - but we try to keep that to a minimum.
You know, to avoid the whole sick as a dog thing.
They're just lucky they have snuggle skills that put most human's snuggle skills to shame.
PS. I just realized, like an idiot, that tomorrow is my 100th post. If I get enough questions I'll do a vlog. Ask away... feel free to email, tweet and/or comment.