Monday, December 3, 2012

The day of the week we never praise.

It's Monday, the one day of the week you really never hear anyone praise.
Monday, the day that we are reminded just how much fun we had over the weekend which has now abruptly come to an end.
Monday, the day you regret not getting more sleep over the weekend.



Here are some things even worse than a Monday:

1. Running out of toilet paper. 
I don't know about you all but TP is one of the household items I can not stand to purchase. It's a burden to me.
You know what's more of a burden though?
Yuppp.. Guess I should have stocked up when I was grabbing that pint of Ben & Jerry's.

2. Stepping in gum.
I stepped in gum while walking my dogs over the weekend, which wouldn't have been means for a meltdown, but I was having a horrible weekend and so my sticky shoe sent me into a massive ugly sobbing fest.

3. Being Lindsay Lohan.
Yep. Any Monday you wake up and realize you aren't LiLo, I'd say it's a great day.

4. When a first kiss goes horribly wrong.
Really though, I'd rather live through a week of Mondays than an awkward first kiss. 

5. Falling in the toilet.
You know, when gentleman forget to put that seat down and next thing you know you're feeling a rare and frigid something down south?

6. This photo of Robert Pattinson.

7. When you trip in public trying to strut your super cute new pair of heels.
Or maybe this one is just me but I don't have enough fingers and toes to count how many times I have done this.
As long as I stick the landing, it's not that bad. Right?

8. When you realize your forgot your debt card while checking out at Publix.
I blame online shopping for this one but there is really nothing worse than the panic that runs through your veins when you remember your debt card is sitting on your laptop at home and there are 5 people impatiently waiting behind you.
Ooops. Sorry guys.

9. Getting photographed like this at the olympics.

10. Getting home to realize you, yet again, bought another stale box of wine.
And then realizing you have zero shame when you pack it up and head back to the store exchange it.
Yes, I really did this last week. Can we still be friends?

40 comments:

  1. Hi. Glad to be back here at your blog today ;) These are all funny but my favorite is Lilo. I'm thankful everyday that I'm not that girl!Love you to the moon.

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  2. yes nothing could be worse then being Lindsay Lohan! xoxo

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  3. It's always a good day when you wake up and are not a Lohan!

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  4. You know what's worse than shelling out dough for toilet paper? Shelling out dough for tampons. You don't seen men lining up for must-haves. They just go right on living...DAMN THEM.

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  5. I am seriously considering this boxed wine gig...

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  6. The only thing worse than running out of toilet paper is when someone else (i.e. roommate) doesn't refill it and you're stranded there because they are lazy!!!

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  7. Say no to bad wine. And TP. Say yes to not being LILO and 1000 followers. Woohoo!

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  8. Ha ha ha Amen to NOT being LILO!!! And no TP could quite possibly the worst thing ever.

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  9. Glad I'm not the only one who's forgotten my debit card in the checkout line... oops! Happy Monday girl!

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  10. hahaha, this is a hilarious post. Ive totally brought stuff back to the store if it's not fresh. Last week I bought a package of tortellini and it was molding three days later. Wine is even more serious, and should definitely be exchanged :)

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  11. OMG! This totally made my Monday. :) My favorites are not being Lindsay Lohan and the Olympics pic. But I'm totally guilty of tripping in heels, not buying toilet paper (add tampons to the list of things I hate buying!) and forgetting my card when I'm buying something. :) Happy Monday!!

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  12. This is awesome post. I love the kitty in the toilet picture too.

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  13. stale wine?! someone should be fired.

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  14. Exchanging that is a must. They can't be selling poison wine! People need wine to live.

    One of my greatest fears is running out of TP.

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  15. Ugh but what happens when you are told you look like LiLo?

    The woman behind the counter at Chick Fil A said to me "Oh my gosh! Do you know who you look like?" to which I hesitantly told her no. She then told me I look like Lindsay Lohan. A co-worker of hers said "Don't tell that poor girl that!"

    Obviously, I immediately text a few different people to make sure that I do not look like that train wreck. It is just never a good idea to tell someone "who they look like". Lesson learned

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  16. Boo to some awful wine! I don't blame you for taking it back not one bit because I would have too...

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  17. Returning that wine is a no brainer, it just had to happen. Poor Robert Pattinson is having a rough few months here lately.

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  18. a stale box of wine, that might be the worst. ok let's be honest being LL woul dbe the worst.

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  19. So funny! Always a great day when you realize you're not Lindsay Lohan! haha

    Xoxo,
    Alexa
    44thandlex.com

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  20. hahahah I love every single thing on this list, thanks for the laughs this monday!

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  21. Forgetting your debit card at home (also due to online shopping) and only realizing it when you're at check out at Walgreens with tampons and deodorant...unfortunate. Realizing the clerk is a hot guy...priceless.

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  22. I don't know HOW many times I've forgotten my debit card at home. So embarrassing!

    UM, I spy 1,000 followerssssss! you go, glen coco

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  23. Lilo needs to get her shit together. Girl, you had it all...WHY THE EFF WOULD YOU NOT PAY YOUR TAXES?! You're an idiot.

    Obvi I feel strongly about this...lol

    Liz
    i couldn't help but wonder...

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  24. I applaud your taking the wine back. If we are going to spend our precious money and calories on wine, it better be fresh gosh darn it.

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  25. Oh wow, this post is hilarious!! :D There are definitely more worse things to worry about than Monday! Glad to know I am not the only one that leaves her debit card by her computer ;) Thanks for the good laugh, hope you have a wonderful Monday!

    xoxo,
    Shio

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  26. I'm dying of laughter from the olympics photo! omg.

    You take that wine back, girl! How ever many times you gotta do it, you do it.

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  27. We will always be friends and you returning that box of wine is why I like you so much! You are my kind of peoples! Happy Monday =)

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  28. This is by far one of the funniest posts I have seen in a while! I literally Laughed Out Loud. Now I can say I actually LOL'd. Ok- Im a dork.
    Happy Monday and Happy December!

    www.showeredwithdesign.blogspot.com

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  29. You poor girl. You continue to get stale boxes of wine :( Seriously, that is far worse than any Monday. I could only imagine how pissed I would if I was badly wanting a glass of wine, went to the grocery store and got him to find it stale.

    At this point, they should just send you 5 boxes of free wine, or offer delivery. The latter would be my preference ;)

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  30. If I woke up as LiLo, I would purposely fall in toilet and drown myself.

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  31. What an elaborate list! I love it - too funny.
    thehartungs.blogspot.ca

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  32. that Rpatz picture..YESSSS hahhahahaha

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  33. you're funny! yes,the toilet paper thing blows!! haha! i saw that someone had congratulated you on reaching 1000 on twitter =) I am pretty sure that this is my first time here, but i thought id stop by and say hello & congrats. Love those milestones that we hit!! =)

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  34. hahah I love this, especially the toilet paper comment. I was just thinking the other day as I was grocery shopping how much I can't stand buying toilet paper. It's so friggin' expensive for the good stuff yet I hate to spend that much on something like that.

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  35. Another stale box? Ah hell no, I did NOT the leave the south side for this (hence, appropriate Mean Girls quote). :)

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  36. Bad wine is unacceptable!!! I was totally laughing at this, everything is so true! I hate buying TP, but running out totally sucks too. Crappy catch 22 haha. Oh, and I have totally been 'that girl' at the grocery store who forgot her debit card. Emmmbarassssinggg! One time I was lucky and had my checkbook [old lady much?] but the other I had to bail. Oooopsies. Happy Monday! :P

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  37. Haha. So cute. And I agree with all of them. Poor LiLo :(

    http://thelifeofyouraveragetwenty-something.blogspot.com/

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  38. this is HILARIOUS! You have definitely made my reading list =]

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