Whitney's What the? Wednesday

As some of you may, or may not, know I regularly plan my future life as a reality superstar. That being said, I tend to troll around celebrity gossip pretty often, probably more than what's considered to be normal, and I actually really enjoy gaining more pointless knowledge of all the train wrecks I'm sure to one day be working next to one day.

Today I'm starting a little something new around this little interwebz corner that I plan on making a regularly scheduled Wednesday thingy thang. This little topic will be called Whitney's What the? Wednesday and it's going to touch on all things celeb gossip and such.

So, without further adieu, I present the first edition of

Let's start with our favorite doping athlete, shall we?

Oh Lance, Lancey Lancey Lance.

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I'm really still trying to find out why this is such shocking news to the rest of the world, it's only been an accusation for as long as I can remember. 

However, if I had to put my money on non-doped homeboy to still place pretty high in the next Tour de France, I'd do it. That shit looks damn near impossible. Can you imagine how long he had to lay off the beer and wings for? And the only shots he was taking was the ones that go in one of his ass cheeks? 

Woof. Better Lancey than me, I say.

Sharon Osbourne, for the love of all that is Gaga, WHY are you feuding with a pop star with a bigger following than all of your family members put together?

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Personally, I'd be afraid of all of those monsters coming after me.

Bad move, Sharon. It might be a good time to let your purple headed, little offspring to fight her own battles. 

Just a thought.

B. Spears. Britty. Brit Brit. My favorite little country bumpkin.

She's justa riding down Heartbreak Boulevard, once again.

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If I said I wasn't still harvesting on a Britney and J.Timberlake reunion, it'd be damn near close to if I told you I was never drinking wine again. Lies.

Really though, let's all say a little prayer that she keeps her hair this time.

As entertaining as a Brit Brit meltdown is, I don't think I'll ever look at a pair of clippers the same again. 

I might even still get nightmares. 

Sticking with my favorite little queens of 90's pop, Jessica Pregnant-Forever-Simpson.

Poor little Daisy Duke says this pregnancy has been full of sickness which is much different from the joyride her first pregnancy was.

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I can only hope this is means for a pregnancy that doesn't last for 2 years.

And I imagine Weight Watchers is likely to agree with that sentiment.

And ending this first edition on the sexiest note possible, Mr. Sexy Pants Ryan Gosling.

Who, apparently, is quite the Suzy Homemaker.

He was recently quoted saying that he was once on set with some old women who taught him how to knit, that is was very relaxing, and that was his idea of the perfect day.

I could think of a much more perfect day with you, Mr. Gosling.

But I say, as long as he's knitting shirtless and ditching Eva Mendes for me, I'm very ok with this.

I wonder if he knows how to make those cute little knit headbands I see everywhere lately?

Someone should tell him how blog chic they are.

And that's it for today.

Do we like or despise this new Wednesday topic?

I'd love feedback, although if you all hate it and next Wednesday comes around and I have nothing to write about, I may still participate.

Happy Humpday, loves.