Trying too hard.
Those are three words that never fail to leave me confused. What does that even mean anyways? All through life, as far as I can remember, people always seemed to throw that little phrase around like it was the ultimate dis and I just don't understand it. Why is trying hard a negative thing?
In school when I tried really hard I found success and made better grades.
When I graduated I tried really hard to find a job and I found one.
At work when I try really hard I make more money.
In relationships when I try really hard they last longer.
In friendships when I try really hard I'm a better friend.
My question remains, why is this usually meant to be such a negative thing? I'll be the first to admit that I do try hard. Not only just on my blog but in all of the things I just mentioned and probably many more that I can't think of right now. I have a really hard time finding the bad in this though, personally, and I think that when you stop trying that's when things go bad. Shouldn't the negative feelings be for those who aren't trying their hardest?
I mean, I get it, pushy salesmen can be pretty overbearing but that's just how they make their living. That's just who they are. At least they're doing something because something has got to be a hell of a lot better than nothing, right?
Right now in my life there are a few things I'd really like to change but I know that if I don't try my damnest to make them happen I won't get that change. Because I can remember when I used to try harder to fit in at school than I did at trying to succeed in my dancing and that showed at nationals when I only scored a silver medal on my solo. I want my ultimate gold medal in life now, not the silver, and, just like that last year of dance, if I don't try I'm only mediocre. I'm only a silver medal.
As always, when I spill my guts here, I have no idea where I'm really going with this. Only that I'm about to start trying really, really damn hard to make some changes in my life and I can only hope that's not a negative thing. I'm finally ready for my ultimate gold medal.
And I'm not talking about dance or going to compete against high schoolers at nationals this summer. Just to clear that up.
love you bunny and all your exciting things that could be coming your way! Keep trying too hard. I like it.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing bad about trying really hard. I think the ultimate goal is to just live happily and to achieve our goals. I think if we keep trying we'll get there! Love this post!
ReplyDeleteI concur! I think maybe people mean it in a negative way when people are trying too hard at not be themselves & not necessarily because they are trying to better themselves? I don't know...but I agree trying is a necessity to a successful life! Good luck trying your heart out, I wish you the very best!!
ReplyDeleteI have never really thought about this phrase, but I know that I have used it. Usually in relationships when someone seems overbearing or annoying. Maybe it's about doing so much and not waiting for other people to respond...like you're getting in the way of success because you're doing too much of the wrong thing. Does that make sense? I see your point, though. Trying hard is definitely a good thing!
ReplyDeleteThere is absolutely NOTHING wrong with trying too hard. Not trying enough gets people crap! With all your effort you'll get there!
ReplyDeleteThat's a really good point...how is there such a thing as trying TOO hard? Good luck in accomplishing everything you want to accomplish!
ReplyDeleteChloe
http://rainbowsandhoneysuckle.blogspot.com
I think people take it as "you're not doing good enough so try harder" when it's said to them. When, most times, it probably means..."you're doing fantastic but if you try harder you'll get even better results." - well that's my positive thinking of it anyway. :)
ReplyDeleteI think trying too hard is only a bad thing when you're trying to be something you're not or to be someone/something else. When you're trying to improve yourself, to more clearly express who you are, or to just discover who you are, then it's not a negative thing. The key is authenticity. If you're trying to become a better version of yourself, you can never try too hard. If you're trying to become someone else, well... you might be trying too hard.
ReplyDeleteI think that this goes back to judgement. People passing judgement on people and situations that they know nothing about. I don't think there is such a things as 'trying to hard' you have to just do you. I busted my ass and 'tried too hard' to get where I am in life. So do you hun.
ReplyDeleteWhen I think about "trying too hard" I think of the kind of people who instead of being true to themselves, "try too hard" to be someone that they think others want them to be. Those people who take stereotypes to the extreme because they're uncomfortable with who they really are. Does that make sense? Because trying hard to better yourself in your relationships, career, etc is certainly not a bad thing!! "Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars" :)
ReplyDeletethis is SO TRUE! id rather try hard then not try at all. I feel like people get their panties in a bunch either way and those people are just do do brains. Like if you DONT try, they're all 'pshhh shes slacking' and if you DO try they're all 'ok shes trying way too hard.' There is no in between! but those people are annoying...and probably have small wee wee's
ReplyDeletewhatever youre trying to change in life you're going to KICK BUTT!!!
xoxoxo
I'm with you boo. I was the kid who graduated in 3 years and was told "I'm wasting away my youth"... I'm sorry, you're still "wasting away your youth" 5 years later... worthless.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up and keep "try too hard" it looks good on you.
what is "too hard" anyway? some people might think something you do means you are trying to hard, others will look at that same scene and say you can try harder. I think at the end of the day it's up to you as to how hard you want to try. and I say go for it...balls to the walls baby! screw the gold metal, go for platinum!
ReplyDeleteI just want to 'hi five' you so bad right now! 'It's too hard' is such a weaksauce excuse in my opinion. I'm on the verge of making some big, scary changes too that will hopefully result in my own gold medal. We've got this... At least... We've got wine?
ReplyDeleteI wonder about this phrase from time to time. Sometimes I believe that "trying too hard" can be a not so good thing as far trying to fit in or molding yourself to be someone you're not. There is absolutely no shame in being a unique individual!
ReplyDeleteBig changes can be good or bad, but when you're going for the good changes, I think the only option is try as hard as you possibly can to make those happen! That's where I am at right now, and some times, I feel like I've never put so much effort into things, but it's totally worth it, and doesn't feel like I'm trying too hard at all. I think it's all about perception and the person doing the "trying". Keep it up lady! Xoxo
ReplyDeleteThere is absolutely nothing wrong with trying hard! I never understood "trying too hard" either, because trying hard is what gets you things and takes you places. Keep on keepin' on Whit and you'll see the changes you are hoping for sooner than you know it!
ReplyDeleteXOXO Kalyn
I love this!! Trying too hard should NOT be a bad thing, at all, and I really don't get why it's considered that why, either. And if you want to get that gold at nationals, I'm not judging. ;)
ReplyDeletexo
I always strive to try HARDER than what I'm already doing.
ReplyDeleteLove you, girl. Go for it - and as far as I'm concerned, you've already got a gold medal for life. ;)
I think people say that when they feel bad about not trying hard enough themselves. So take it as a compliment that you're making them think about how they should try HARDER! :)
ReplyDeleteI don't understand that either. I think that trying is a good thing, not a negative at all.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up beautiful!!
good point. I think the phrase is used in pretty much everything when it shouldn't. i mean in the ways you pointed out, trying hard is a great thing. whenever something isn't meant to be and people keep trying and trying, i think it's when it's fitting. but then again how do you know if it won't work out if we don't try. ugh. anyway, wish you luck in getting your gold medal girl!
ReplyDeletei know I try too hard. and i don't understand why that does have a negative connotation. all i know that if you are it's working. bc you are amazing.
ReplyDeleteI hear that phrase a lot - trying to hard - and it doesn't make sense, because like you said trying harder gets you better results. I think right now I am getting a bronze medal in life, and I really need to start trying for the gold. This post is a great reminder to keep trying and try harder!
ReplyDeleteI never thought of it this way but that is entirely true. It's always viewed badly if you try to hard, but if you don't try hard enough then you appear lazy. You can get your gold medal, I just know it!
ReplyDeleteI love this post, what great perspective!
ReplyDeletexx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes
Love this, couldn't agree more!!!
ReplyDeleteI love this perspective on "trying too hard"! I hate that it can turn into something negative when "trying" is such a positive and good thing!
ReplyDeleteI love the way you said this, because I'll be honest - I never thought of it that way. It is conflicting though - we want people to try hard, but then we use that as though it's a negative.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with whatever it is you're trying for!
<3 Kiersten
You keep trying and I'll keep trying and I just know things are gonna happen for us.. and everyone else will wish they did it too ;)
ReplyDeleteI really love this post! It's so true! Why is "trying too hard" a bad thing? I've never thought about it that way. :)
ReplyDeleteI definitely think "trying too hard" is something said by jealous people- I don't think there is any such thing as "too much". Except maybe cold weather. You seem to have a really positive mental attitude though, so I'm sure you'll try hard and succeed!!! Good luck! x
ReplyDeleteI cannot say how it was used towards you, that has upset you. As someone who has said it, and been told it. I think it has to do with being fake. Not being genuine to who you are. Think about that girl in school so despite to fit in she wears the high heels, makeup, and miniskirts. When in reality she is a hightop skate boarding type of girl. She was not fooling anyone, and most people would say she was trying too hard.
ReplyDeletelove it! trying hard usually leads to great things! i hope your desired life changes work out for the best. i'm hoping for some good changes too and it's good to remember that hard work pays off. you're awesome :)
ReplyDelete-- jackiejade.blogspot.com
ps - i'd kill for a silver medal in dance. even against high schoolers. i'd take it!
ReplyDeleteI needed to read this so thank you. I am currently in a "ah-ha" moment with my life and how I have allowed different portions to slip through the cracks. It is unfortunate but I have to remember that it is okay to try harder to make things work. Most people give up too fast and I am not one of those individuals. You can do it girl!
ReplyDeleteNever stop striving for improvement!
ReplyDeleteThe control freak in me agrees with every single sentence of this post. The crazy Boulder hippie in me is dying for both of us to chill the eff out and have a glass of wine or two. So clearly, I don't know what to tell you about this, except that I fully understand where you're coming from. And there is nothing wrong with hard work. Just don't let it consume you.
ReplyDeleteI think you're taking it too literally. :) Trying hard at things that matter in life is a good thing. When people say "she's trying too hard" in a negative way, it means more like she's being phoney or putting on a show.
ReplyDeleteJust stumbled upon your blog, Whitney, and I just love it! Can't wait to check out more.
ReplyDeleteOne too many "just"s ... Sorry. I am the mother of a toddler. And I am tired. ;)
DeleteI love everything about your post today friend. If people say you try to hard....you turn around and say You're damn right I do and look where I am. It's not about trying too hard...it's working towards your goals. Great read to end this day.
ReplyDeleteTrying hard is never negative... it only compliments a strong character. :) I saw give your all girl!
ReplyDeleteLove this post. I can totally relate as I feel like I am trying really hard to make some things happen for myself. You deserve to work your ass off and be rewarded with results. I raise my glass to you! :)
ReplyDeleteSuch a good point you make! While a lot of times I think it's saying don't try so hard to be someone you're not, which is also a good point, it is used way too much in the negative sense. People should really instead say be yourself in these situations.
ReplyDeleteI think that it is great that you want to try and succeed and not just settle for the "silver". That just shows that you have ambition in life and you don't settle. When you put your mind to something you go after it. Good luck in what you are changing in your life, I know you will do great! :)
ReplyDeleteLove this post! Everything that you are saying is soooo true! I'm pretty motivated and driven and wrote a post along similar lines yesterday about life and what I'm learning and trying to do harder! On a side note: I just have to say that everytime I click on another blog to follow your blog (at least 5 times in the last few days) is the first listed under blogs people follow. Thought I would let ya know. Clearly you're doing something right! :-)
ReplyDeleteAdrienne
http://myblackwhitecolor.blogspot.com
Great post. In my experience, those that accuse others of "trying too hard" have been threatened by said others.
ReplyDeletexo Ami
Great post, there are so many who do not like to try hard it is too much work for them...........
ReplyDeleteGreat post and great attitude to have. I agree with you, that trying hard shouldn't be a bad thing, as mentioned above...I think people say that when they feel threatened.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny. Let's all try hard-er I think?
ReplyDeletezuleyb.blogspot.com
Wonderful post!!! Trying harder to improve yourself is NEVER a bad thing!
ReplyDelete