Friday, November 22, 2013

I Loathe Showering

What I'm about to say probably puts me somewhere in a similar category as our friend I was talking about yesterday who thinks it's acceptable to try on her underoos before bringing them home. 

I loathe showering.

Not even kidding. There is absolutely nothing for me about showering that I enjoy. I mean, sure, I enjoy not smelling like a hobo who slept in a dumpster for the last two years, and I enjoy having hair on my head that doesn't resemble that of a grunge band member, but really, showering is such a damn burden.

Take last night, for example. I came home from work to take a little nappy, so that I could treat the night as if it were a Friday because technically it was my Friday. When I woke up, I knew I needed to shower because it had been somewhere around 4 days since I had actually washed my hair, and I'm pretty sure if bear had to see me rock a messy bun on the top of my head for one more day, he was going to start searching my head for bugs.

I finally roll out of my bed, very much against my will, and I turn the shower on. Instantly, issue number one goes down. Bear was the last to use the shower (because he actually showers on a regular basis, as humans are intended to) and the shower head was pointed too high, thus causing water to spray all over the place. Cute. 

I strip down to nothingness, swing open my shower curtain, hike my leg over the tub wall, and then I nearly bust my head open from slipping. Awesome. Sauce. I told you this showering thing was no walk in the park. Icing on the cake? Now I'm in the shower and my damn dog wont stop crying and wincing as if Michael Vick is outside of that shower curtain, trying to recruit him to be his next star athlete on his dog fighting team. 

Strike three, four, and probably five too, was somewhere around the time when I realized I was on my way to growing a national forest on my legs and needed to take care of it before my ass got placed on the single list again. Why is shaving such a damn burden? Oh, bonus points, I was out of shaving cream and completely forgot about it because, you know, I've been to the store at least 4 or 5 times since I used the last of said cream, but I obviously avoid the shower like the plague, thus causing forgetfulness. Mother shit. Laser for erryone.

So, about fifteen to twenty minutes after all of these horribly tedious tasks, one is forced to do when attempting to be a hygienic citizen, I think I'm just about ready to finally get out. It's done. The misery is done. Except for the joke's on me because now my hair is soaked and not styled, I have zero traces of make up anywhere to be found on my face, my freshly shaved legs are now dry and in desperate need of hydration, and my ears need to be swabbed worse than the poop deck on a pirate ship. Just great, more tasks and I haven't even touched on hanging up my damn towel yet. Oh, sweet, hygienic, misery. 

And there you have it, my friends, showering sucks and I don't care if you want to judge me for said sentiment. Now I will go forth and back my, questionably dirty, azz up with a song fit for such a post and wish you the happiest, shower-free, weekend ever. Except for I'm going to a fancy shmancy ball tomorrow and I think that means I'm going to have to add a shower in the mix tomorrow. Dammit all.

Anywhoodles, see yaaaa. 




It's #backthatazzup Friday!

The purpose: To start our weekend with some fantastic jams.
The station that inspired it: "Back That Azz Up" on Pandora Radio.
The rules: Link your jams up and have a jam sesh with all of us!

Click here for a tutorial on how to embed a song in your post.


Happy Friday!
Grab a button, pick your jam, link up and let's get this weekend started off on the right foot!
I wore yoga pants



67 comments:

  1. I'm not much for the shower either. Honestly, it interferes with my laziness after work. And there is no way I'm getting out of bed early for that shizz. I boycotted actual showers years ago, because the only thing even remotely tolerable about hygiene are baths, because I can sit on my arse for that. And anything that reduces the amount of energy required to do something, is a good thing in my books.

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  2. Great song. I don't like showering either. It's just so tedious. Do this and that and this and then when you get out you have more shit to do.

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  3. I actually love showering -- i crank the water up to scorching hot and pretend i'm in a hot tub! showers actually help me relax! and i make sure I have plenty of fun products (fun smelling body washes etc.) so I look forward to getting in. otherwise it can feel like a burden at times. So I'm like a little kid and have to make showering fun! hahah maybe I'm the weirdo here....

    http://allthingsprettyandlittle.blogspot.com/

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  9. I am the exact same way. I hate showering. Then I have to spend 5468746847 hours drying my hair and making myself look human after it's all said and done. I'd rather spend that time napping.

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  10. Good, I'm not the only one! My boyfriend teases me all the time about how little I wash my hair but I'm like umm that's what they make baby powder for (okay I guess that's not WHY they make it but that's beside the point)!

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  11. I would totally love showering if it wasn't for the hair drying, make-up, and lotion lathering that followed. Such a chore! Ugh!

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  12. Tyson is 6'5" to my 5'4" we do that shower head thing always! If I leave it where he put it the water just flies over my head and hits the wall. UGH.

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  13. Oh my gosh! My friends all rag me all the time bc 2x a week is considered a win by my husband!! The impending cold, wet, daunting doom of stepping out and then an hours worth of slathering, pulling, spraying, tweeing... Ugh!

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  14. I like showering.. but only at my Parent's house because they have a (somewhat) newly remodeled $6,000 shower with marble, a seat, 5 shower heads-- you get the point. Also, if you are ever out of shaving cream.. try using Conditioner instead. It does the trick!

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  15. I was just thinking the other day how showering is SUCH a hassle. Yes, a nice hot shower feels good every now and then, but man oh man! The EFFORT it requires...it's just all so tedious.

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  16. So glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Showering is just an all around pain in my ass. And really, it's not even the actual shower that I hate so much. It's what comes after - the putting on makeup, drying my hair, and then styling it. Too much work!

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  17. For some reason I find showering takes just as much energy as going to the gym. I have to stand up which seems even more energy sucking because it's warm and makes me sleepy so im over exerting myself just to stand up and stay awake in the damn shower. Then there is shaving and turning yourself into a contortionist to get to the places that shouldnt be mentioned by a stranger on your blog. Suds in your eyes, too hot, too cold, too much pressure, not enough - so many things can go wrong. Fuck showering.

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  18. I LOATHE showering too! Not only do I hate wasting time washing my thick and tangle-infused mane, brushing it after is a chore. My dog could join yours in a contest for biggest crybaby as well!!! Plus when I'm done, I always get out and am freezing cold forever. Showers plain suck.

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  19. While I disagree with you on hating the shower (I don't know what it is, I love em! Hate baths though...), I absolutely agree with you on the shaving thing, Shaving in the shower is SUCH a bitch!

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  20. I'm so with you on this it's not even funny. virtual high five. dry shampoo is my life.

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  21. I don't know which I hate more showering or blow drying my hair afterwards. Either way, I put them both off more often than I should sometimes!

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  22. I guess I'm the oddball because I take 3 showers a day. Morning, evening after the gym and before bed. I love, love, love showers!! But I do hate shaving. Now that I'm single again I can be as hairy as I wanna be without judgement. Scorrrreeee!

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  23. I feel you girl. I HATE showering. It's not fun. i hate coming out of the shower wet and cold. and I hate shaving. at the moment #noboyfriendnoproblem but seriously it's such a burden. EUGH.

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  24. Showering sucks. I'm with you. But it could be wayyyyy worse. You could be part of M. Vick's star athlete dog fighting team.

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  25. I am so happy I am not alone in the I-hate-showering front!!! It is such a task. Have you ever tried shaving in the shower when you're blind? I am convinced it adds an additional 15 minutes more than normal girls ! My hair looks its best on day 3 anyway!!

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  26. I've been using conditioner on my legs instead of shaving cream and LOVE it! My man usually tells me about 3-4 days in that I need to wash my hair because it doesn't smell so hot. WHAT!? How rude. Then I go shower.

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  27. This is exactly how I feel about showering. Except I am on the single list so maybe there's the occasional national forest on my legs. I said MAYBE.

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  28. I thought I was the only one who hates the shower and shaving!! lol So much work just to shower! Hope your Friday gets better!!

    Xoxo,
    Krystal
    Blog//Facebook//Twitter

    *Followed All Your Social Links*

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  29. Oh my goodness, this is great. I'm not the only one!! So glad someone said it. I'm e-mailing my boyfriend a link to this post, he thinks I'm crazy!!

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  30. I hate showering. Due to the hair factor. I do not have th kind of hair that you can let air dry. I look like a goddamn bumble! One time when I was on a high school summer break, my best friend and I had a competition on how long we could not shower for. 7 days we lasted! Because we were swimming in a pond everyday, this was somewhat ok. The scabies however were not.

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  31. I actually enjoy the showering part... I can stay in for 20-30 minutes if I don't have anyone yelling on me to hurry. It's all the shit you have to do afterward that I can't stand. Especially blow drying my hair, that shit is for the birds.

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  32. I hate having to get out and go into the cold. Hate it. Also, shaving is the worst. The Worst.

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  33. I am the EXACT same way. Not to mention when you're done showering and have to step out into the too-cold, arctic-style bathroom. Hate that shit.

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  34. i hate how much of a TASK showering really is. it's so simple for guys. the worst is after all that aggravation, I usually forget to bring my towel in with me. but once i'm all dry and in comfy clothes and smelling like deliciousness, i'm like "ok that was totally worth it, i feel amazing".

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  35. I have a love hate relationship with showering. I actually enjoy it most days.. it relaxes me to stand under the hot water and feel stress melt away. But then there are days when I wish that I was able to be like a guy and be in, out & dried off within like 3 minutes.

    Jamie @
    The Growing Up Diaries

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  36. Showering isn't so bad for me, I could stay in there for an hour. Or more. What I really hate is that if I don't both dry and straighten my hair afterwards, my hair turns into a giant poofball.

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  37. I love showers - hate the shit afterwards. Sooo much time spent doing my make-up, brushing my hair, finding clothes, squeezing my moisturized legs into skinny jeans (murder), adjusting and readjusting my bra because it never goes on right the first time, my cats jumping on my shoulders to eat my wet hair...it's complete shit.

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  38. I couldn't agree more! The showering part to me is whatever, but then the drying of my hair (20+ minutes), the styling of my hair (30+ minutes), the make up... ok only 5 minutes there. All in all it's a long process and I'm known to just throw my hair in a wet bun after a shower because screw all that non-sense!

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  39. I don't mind the shower but I have come to loathe blow drying my hair! Shaving too. I'm single so I don't have to shave every week. Thank goodness for pants weather :P

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  40. I effing hate showering too... no judgement here. I am like a 4 year old child... I don't WANNA take a bath!! lol Dry shampoo is my bff!!

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  41. I love showering. But I hate shaving. Moisturising after the shower (what.a.bore). And worse of all, blow drying and straightening my hair. I would happily shower and wash my hair if someone else would do the rest for me.

    Sx

    sabaandthecity.blogspot.com

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  42. I hate showering, too. I'm such a lazy bitch. Nothing feels better than being fresh and clean but there's just so many damn steps.

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  43. In college I used to pride myself on how long I could go looking acceptable to society without showering. Nothing a little hair spray and a washcloth can't fix. ;)

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  44. I have certain times that I really look forward to showing (like yesterday after 90 minutes of hot yoga- what the hell was I thinking?!). But usually I also hate it for many of the reasons you listed here. It just gets in the way! I also hate having to go to the bathroom (talk about a time waster) and the hiccups (random, but true).

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  45. YES I hate showering so so much!!! Boys have it so easy - ugh!

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  46. I'm right there with you. Wouldn't it be nice for it to be 10 mins and done like the guys? Showering, shaving, and styling and overrated.

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  47. Showers are the worst. No judgement here, I am with you on this point 100%.

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  48. Lol you are so hilarious, Whitney. I love shower and feeling clean, but I only wash my hair 2 or 3 times a week because it's the blow drying of the hair that I totally loathe. It's all the stupid little things our bodies require that really really suck. Why do they have to be such high maintainence?!

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  49. My roommate and I were just talking about it this morning! We seriously shower so rarely that it's beginning to be a problem... It's just such a hassle. At night, we don't feel like it and in the morning, I'd rather have 30 minutes of extra sleep. First world problem to the highest degree right now.

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  50. I haven't heard that song in too long! I love it!
    I feel ya on showering. Not so much that I dislike it, I just hate the shaving part - it is such a pain in the ass. Ugh.

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  51. DITTO and washing my hair hate it!!!! so annoying then you need to dry it which after you are done you need another shower from sweating! lame!

    and shaving...lets not even go there

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  52. Not just the showering but washing your hair and having to deal with a wet mess afterwards!

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  53. This post was absolutely hysterical and I know exactly what you mean about running out of shaving cream, awful!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  54. I hate showering , but as under a strict scheduling , I have to do it after every two days . Out of shaving cream? THAT'S A TRAGEDY!

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  55. For me, showering is much like sleeping - it is impossible to get me to go do it, but once I'm there, it's then impossible to get me OUT.

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  56. I am not a shower person, I would rather take a nice long bubble bath.....................

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  57. Thank you Dry shampoo and daily 5 minute shit-to-chic makeup challenges the After isn't as awful as it could be

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  58. Showering is such a hassle! I hate how long it takes my hair to dry the most since I shower at night and I can't stand sleeping with wet hair. I also hate showering in the morning because that makes I have to use a hair dryer and my arms get tired and no. Hallelujah for dry shampoo.

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  59. Haha, this cracked me up! Although I normally don't feel this, I love showering!

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  60. I'm judging you a little. Of course when I shower it doesn't involve leg shaving or hair washing...ooh the single life!

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  61. Hahaha I love how you make the most simplistic things in life absolutely hilarious - just like me I think you need a human BUBBLE! My friends always joke that they are ordering me once. I got stitches in my finger yesterday after trying on a pair of SHOES!!! Granted it was hilarious - they weren't even heels! Just mere flip flops! But it had some metal thing on it that's supposed to make it look pretty yet all its good for is draining the blood from your poor, unsuspecting fingers!!! haha

    I do love me a good shower though I must admit - I hope you find the joys in them one day ;) maybe when Bear joins you for one! oooo la la then they are real enjoyable... although it could end up really bad if you're Whitney!! (And I mean that in the nicest possible way!) ;) xxx

    www.bohemianmuses.blogspot.com

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  62. I never understood how my siblings could go even a day without showering. Until something happened to me and I missed a day, realized how freeing it could be and now spend my early mornings contemplating if I really need a shower today or can sleep an extra thirty minutes.

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  63. ugh. getting into the shower is such a pain in the ass for me. but once i'm in there...i can spend eternity under the warm water. or at least as long as it takes to run out of warm water. i get you on the leg shaving thing. i go weeks without shaving them...but i am single, so no big deal. hahaha.

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  64. OMG, I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate showering! My husband doesn't understand why I loathe getting ready to go anywhere, but you basically described it to a T.

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