It's Friday and I'm extraordinarily happy about this today. This week has draaaaagged, am I right? No big weekend plans for this girl but I'm not complaining, I'm hoping to get some productive things done around the house... stay tuned on that one.
Usually I spend my Friday's here writing letters and linking up, you know, doing the new blogger thing - getting my name out there... but today that's not going to be the case. Today I'm going to layout a little diddy on friendship. Somewhat a "follow up" post to Kristen's post from earlier this week.
In my eyes, friendship is a two-way street. Both sides should give and both sides should put in equal efforts. I'm putting emphasis on the word "should" because it seems that those things are easily forgotten these days.
They say, "you get what you give".
Well, I think that's bullshit, quite honestly. There have been multiple times in my life where I've given nothing but sincere friendship and support and have gotten nothing but the shit end of the stick back. Not just me, I've seen it happen to some of my friends, as well. Most recently though, it's been me.
If someone has been there for you through your worst, you need to be there for them. Period, end. That's being a true friend. How hard is it to be there?! I'm talking emotionally and physically. It's not too much to ask if the other person has been, and is always, there. Not to mention, isn't that the base of all relationships?
Friendship is an equal road and I think that's something that gets forgotten a lot. In my honest opinion, people get lazy. Don't get lazy on the people who matter the most. Sometimes we all need to pick up the phone instead of texting. We need to get off our lazy butts and extend ourselves. If there's something that really, truly means something to your friend, whether you think it's significant or not, support it! Really though it isn't that hard. Yes, you may actually have to get off of your ass and do something that isn't on the top of your list of things to do, but guess what? That gesture could mean a lot to that friend who has always been there for you.
Relationships don't grow from selfishness. They just don't. Sometimes you actually have to put others first, people. I know, so crazy, right? Not to sound all mom jeans on you guys but, seriously, put yourself in the other person's shoes. If it would hurt your feelings, chances are it will hurt the other person's feelings. If you expect someone else to live up to certain expectations in a friendship, you need to practice what you preach.
Obviously, I'm preaching my ass off today for a reason. Yes, I'm hurt from a situation that deals with what this post is formed around and yes, a long term friendship was terminated because of it. Mostly, I just want to remind us all that sometimes we have to put others before ourselves. Not always but sometimes. I just think it's important to remember that the people we're lucky enough to call "friends" help us be who we are in this life and we need to be there for them.
Be there!
If you haven't reached your hand out to your friends lately, go ahead and let them know you care today. I promise, even the smallest gestures can mean the world.
With that I'm off to count down to 4 o'clock happy hour. Happy Friday, loves.
Sometimes it's God's way of weedin the garden and gettin the yuck out. Sorry it happened, but now you have time in your schedule for a new friend! Happy weekend, girl! :)
ReplyAMEN! You said it perfectly, just be there. I've had this happen to me in the past as well and it's not fun at all. I've also been guilty of it myself. I get busy and unfortunately my friends have suffered. Lucky for me, they understand and love me anyways. Happy Friday!
ReplyWell said!!! Friendship is such a fragile thing!
ReplyHappy Friday!!
AMEN AMEN AMEN! Just last night I was reading in Proverbs. 18:24 to be exact. "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." So many times we get caught up in how many 'friends' can we/do we have. When really there's ONE important one. Jesus. But also, in the notes to this particular verse it reminds us that having one friend that you know will be there through thick and think is far better than a dozen fickle superficial friends. Spend time nurturing those REAL friendships!!!
ReplySorry you had a bad situation happen! Maybe it can be repaired! If he/she is a true friend, it's worth fighting for. Even though you may be mad as hell now! ;) Been there. Pray about it. The Lord will show you the right thing to do!
Happy Friday girl!
Amen, girl! This was a perfect post. It's a crying shame when the people you give everything to, can't be there when you need them the most. My MOH of the wedding, is the prime example. Our friendship is pretty much over (as it was the 2 years before) but I try and try to be there for her, just for her to blow me off day in and day out.
ReplyAs much as it sucks to lose a friendship, sometime it's for the better. In my opinion, My mom and Jason are the only two "best friends" I need.
Awesome reminder!
ReplyI think we all get in those ruts and end up living via texting. But you are right, it is important to call someone every once in awhile. I shall do this this weekened! Thanks for the push girl! :)
Preach on, sister.
ReplySo true! I recently read a quote- "If I treated you the way you treat me, you'd hate me." I think so often, especially in long-term friendships, it's easy to become complacent and then resentment grows and the relationship suffers. I'm currently in a similar situation with a friend I've known for 22 years. 22 years!! It's so sad, but one person can't be in the friendship. It's gotta be two. Life gets busy, but some things are more important and like you said, putting others first is sometimes just what needs to be done.
I'm sorry to hear about your lost friendship, but it sounds like you have some good thoughts on th subject.
I completely agreee! Im dealing with a similar situation and it sucks!
ReplyI hope you have a great weekend!
XO
I love this post and definitely agree. Since moving abroad I've realized who my real friends are. Sad, but true!
ReplyRachel
http://www.postcardsfromrachel.com
i feel ya girl, i have def given it my all been a great friend & got nothing in return...my favorite is friends who always say i miss you but when you wanna get together theyre always busy...thats why at this age in my life i rather have a few good friends then a ton of fake friends. have a great weekend!!! xoxo
ReplyThis is a sore subject for me right now. "Friendship." I love your post, and it speaks volumes to how the land of friendships has become lazy and changed. I've lost or chosen to weed out a few friends this year because of this. I've needed a lot of support from people, and they just aren't willing to give it, yet I've been there for them through so much more than what I've been asking. Ridic. But...we live and we learn, right? I hope you have a fantastic, nothing planned, weekend!
ReplyI've definitely been there! It sucks when you lose a friendship, but everything happens for a reason. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a certain season. I've lost more than my fair share of friends along the way, but I'm so happy with the ones I have now that I'm older. I know they have my back ;)
ReplyA big thank you for this post. I have a friend that I have had for 15 years. The past 5 I feel like I have made all the effort. You reminded me it is a 2 way street. She can travel a bit or I will have to cut my losses. Your post is so dead on. Most of it is laziness!
ReplyAwesome post, and you are soooo right. I have a friend (who I haven't talked to in forever) who always gives me the feeling, "Well I haven't heard from you in this many months," but I want to say...you have a phone too you know! Admittedly I've not been the greatest friend the last few years between moving around the country and starting a new job, but I'm doing alot better lately (at least I'm trying to). I've also gotta try and remember that...some people are in our lives for "a season."
ReplyGreat post!! Sorry you are going thru a hard time. I have had those kinds of friends as well, some stayed and some left. I believe that if it is a "true" friendship then it will survive the hard time. I have had a major fight with all my close girl friends and even though it sucked, in retrospect I am glad we went thru a difficult period because now i have a stronger friendship with them...does that make sense? On another hand, as my friends and I get older, it's hard to keep in touch, but I agree it's a two-way street....my husband uses a bank/deposit analogy :) same idea thou :)
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ReplyNew follower - I adore your blog design! Great post- so sorry you're going through this!
ReplyHey Whitney! I know you have a lot of followers, but I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award....I just love reading your blog every day....it really has become one of my must reads every day! Check out my post about it to get the button and stuff :) Have a great day!
ReplySo I must have missed this post originally but I have totally gone through the same thing within the past few weeks. You're right - a friendship is a two way road and unfortunately some people just don't realize that and only think of themselves. I also terminated a friendship because of multiple things and thinking back on it now, there are better people out there for us. People that will be there and bring us up just as we do them!
ReplyGreat post :)
Not sure how I even ended up on this particular post, but I'm seriously considering printing it out and sending it to my friends. Then posting it for myself. Preach on, sister. Preach on.
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